These jaw muscles of mine haven't been exercised much these days. Not smiling, not frowning... no need for any muscles. It's getting harder to make myself smile. What happened to those days where I could smile anywhere, anytime, in any terrible situations?
Mrs Ooi entered in my chem common test marks wrongly... she typed in 17/25. Haha, many people told me I was lucky and should just leave it alone. For a moment there, I was tempted. If I kept quiet, Mrs Ooi wouldn't know... it would solve everything. But, but, of course, I have what you call honesty and conscience. I reprimanded myself for ever thinking that. God must be very disappointed with me.
We're going to have a Lit party next Thursday!! Can't wait for it xD I remember on Valentine's Day, we had one too... now, all bio students, this is one of the many privileges you miss out on.
History test tomorrow... due to some issues, all sec 3 elective history students have to retake their common tests. May the Lord be with me every step of this journey.
As usual, first half of the day was fine, the other half, horrendous. My throat started itching. And after, it got worse and worse. The people around me were very restless, and troubled, I know (not mentioning names). As their friend, of course, I respect their feelings and limited my words.
With all this heavy mood around me, I became gloomy too. And, coupled with the increasingly irritating sore throat... I lost my temper. It has been really long since my patience ran out. I think I snapped at a couple of people. A big sorry to those who I spoke a little too harshly to!!
By the end of school, my throat was burning. I fell into depression. Just after I recover from my fever, here comes something just as bad. My mother's off to Cambodia; I didn't dare to tell her anything.
I don't think I can be like Ruo Nan; even if she fails, she just laughs and try harder the next time. I can't do that. I'm not strong enough.
I am scared of fate. I am scared of what more misfortunes it will bring me. I am scared of what more twists it will make. I am scared of what people it will bring to me, and what hurt these people may bring. I am scared of how I will end up ten years down the road. I am not a fatalist. That's why I fear fate.
"Boy: So, who do you like?
Girl: Oh, just some guy who doesn't know.
Boy: Hell, then he's missing out.
Girl: Haha... who do you like?
Boy: Oh, just some girl who likes some guy who's totally missing out."
posted by Michelle @ 4:40 PM
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