I'm never going to get my wishes, am I? I failed chinese. Yes. I must appear very pathetic right now... I'm falling back while others are catching on. I have been more serious about my studies, but seriousness obviously did not get me anywhere. Looks like I need brains and dilligence. And not to forget, more faith in the Lord.
Everyone has their up and downs. My downs have gone on long enough, deep enough. I want to climb out of this bottomless pit. I had just picked myself up and is now figuring out the best way to escape. I long for someone to drop me a ladder, but in the end, it's my own effort. The route to up seems so far away. I pray, when will this end?
People say, set your expectations high and work towards it. What can I say? The greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment. I've gone through that repeatedly, so much that I have to expect the least of myself.
Rain. Please rain like it did this morning. When I'm upset, staring at the raindrops on my window calms me down. The detail, the simplicity. It catches my attention. I wish for rain, tonight, please rain.
Today was so normal. Nothing unique happened. I don't like normal days. It bores me. Normal normal normal. I want things to happen. The only unexpected thing today was meeting my family at West Mall; I went there with Ruo Nan and Khadeza. It's nice, but not something to celebrate about.
Hmm.. do I seem happy today? If you really thought I was, then maybe my disguises are getting better every day =D Haha.. that's something worth being gleeful about!
"It's easy to smile... but it's not always easy to smile and mean it."
posted by Michelle @ 5:32 PM
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