Mow.

When I heard that news that you found a new girlfriend, I couldn't really stop the sinking feeling. And I don't know why. I have claimed so confidently some time back that I definitely do not like you anymore, and I even made sure to let you know that I no longer like anyone, knowing that you probably already know I'm referring to you.
All this time, you probably knew. I have been trying to let you know without actually saying it out. Because when the words are out, a few things can happen, and none of them are what I would want. When the words are out, I can't get out of it anymore. I didn't want to change our friendship because I liked where we are then.
Yet I wanted you to know.
Thus began the weird crazy conversations where I dropped unlimited hints to make sure you know. And you probably did.
And I noticed that you've been paying me more attention because of that, until the point i told you I no longer liked anyone.

Recently you just became more distant, and this news I heard only explained that perfectly.
What I am more disappointed in is that you don't even bother telling me, and I don't think you ever will unless I ask. It really does sadden me. We used to be close friends, I liked the idea of us staying as close friends for a long time to come. Apparently not.
I really don't know why you wouldn't tell me and just chose to distance yourself. I know it's not just because you don't want to talk to other girls while having a girlfriend because I heard this news from a girl.
Now I know, I want to ask you for confirmation, but I don't want to hear the answer.
More than the fact that you're with someone else, it's the fact that we're no longer the close friends we used to be. I wonder if you knew how much I treasured this friendship, because apparently you don't.

I guess things between us will always be this unspoken.
Maybe that's for the best.

posted by Michelle @ 11:37 AM