Mow.

The teachers are ruthless; they really want to break our bliss all in one day.

Although I don't appear so, I did really badly for my SA2. I asked about dropping A Math, if it's a must if I fail. Mdm Yeo then told me, "What's the point of clinging on to something you can't do well in?"
She's right, I suppose. There are some things that I really cling too much on. Blame it on my personality, but that's how I am. Maybe I should let go.
I should let go of stuff, and I'll be a happier girl.
I was actually wondering to myself; how come I wasn't upset when I got my marks?
Being exposed to many negativities;
Have I turned numb already?

English was really RAWR. It was a blow to me, seeing how I failed my comprehension badly when I never used to score that low. I passed overall, but it somehow shattered me.
Just like Social Studies, it didn't quite meet my expectations.
Naturally, I'll be disheartened.
Even for Literature, I had hoped for higher ='(

I really don't know how I feel towards Lit. There are times when I get a question from poetry/prose/text and I really really don't feel like answering it.
Lit is tedious.
But I love it because of how it gives me analytical skills.
I liked how the lecturer from last time told us how Lit people are a level above others because they know how to see and feel things from different perspectives.
We tend to understand how others feel.
I enjoy analyzing poems.
In SA1, Mrs Tan announced I did very well in my unseen poem.
There was satisfaction.
Yet... it's so unpredictable. At times, I might end up doing badly.
In Lit, it's either make it or break it.
And it's scary in that sense.

Afterwards, Jia Ying told me she wasn't going to frown anymore. She was going to smile.
She reminded me that I was supposed to use smiling as my mask.
I scuttled into the toilet.
My emo moment xDD
And when I came out, I told myself, I won't appear down anymore.
I'll act like everything's alright.

I think I succeeded.
Huh.
Or maybe I really did turn numb to everything.

Sometimes I just want to leave Singapore.
Until then...
There's still tomorrow.
There's still Physics marks and Chemistry marks waiting for me.
Waiting to laugh at my despondency.

;_; How long more until this ends?

posted by Michelle @ 5:31 PM