LOL.
This makes me want to continue!!
But I am a bit lazy to do so and I feel that my writing skills are not up to date... it's probably lousier than five years ago?
Man I was such an awesome kid when I was 13. I didn't have my first love like Justin Bieber. Har har, dry joke. Anyways, I remember that I co-owned a website and used to design cool graphics for them. And on Neopets, I designed layouts for my guild forums and my own lookups. Pretty cool, amazing stuff. To add on to that of course, I wrote fanfictions that had a fair amount of readers.
Well.. I think I was a geek but who cares cuz I was an awesome geek who had real skills.
I'm not sure what happened to that now. I think she grew up and became more sociable and goes around
So anyway, I will try to at least revive some of my skills. I'm working on it!! See how I started blogging even if nobody reads?
And from there i WILL work on my fanfiction once more!!
Sucks to be a procrastinator.
Jakarta was okay. The wedding party was tiring and I was ready to chuck my heels out of the window. But overall, the trip was nice because my cousin was there and we hung out a lot.
Lol what a boring summary.
Moving on...
I CUT BANGS!
hooray.
some peole have said they liked it and that I pull it off... some said it makes me look cheena and others, korean... some said that it suits my image better.
yeah more people think I'm cute than people who think I'm pretty T-T
saddened.
I mean cute is awesome, but well... yknow. yeah.
As expected of a girl's blog, there will be mentions of guys.
And right now I need to rant about him.
He, with his indecisive heart, his impulsive actions, his one-track mind... why can't you decide what you want?
Nothing makes you happy.
Before we got together, you said you didn't want a relationship because you think you don't like me enough.. fine.
However you started acting like we were together... fine.
Then your feelings grew and you wanted a serious relationship. I was honestly wary about it but even when my friends tell me to leave, I stayed because you were worth it.
Into the relationship you kept getting jealous that I talked to him, so okay I stopped talking so much to him. All you could see was that I still talked to him (uh, duh he's my friend and i see him at work?!), but not HOW MUCH. Some part of your delusional mind kept believing he is out to steal me away from you. But you don't know that he has been telling me about another girl in his life.
And then guess what? Some days later you came to me and said, 'Hey! I have no feelings for you today. How?!'
How?! The hell?
And even after that you expect me to tell you if I'm sad, my troubles, how I feel about this... don't you think I have the slightest right to keep my feelings to myself after what you said? I also needed to protect myself from someone who can say he loves me one day and take it back the next.
The next day, you said you missed me.
The next day after that, we broke up.
Because you said you acn't trust me, you havae no confidence in me.
When I finally told you all my frustrations, you said you were disappointed because if I had said all that, the relationship could have been saved. So you resorted to a break up to find out if I really care?
After the break up, you didn't want to talk, so fine.
Then you wanted to talk, fine.
Then you started flirting again... fine.
Then you decided your feeligs are fading... FINE.
Yesterday (or rather, today), you messaged me at 4am in the morning saying that you keep thinking of me. And that you are still jealous of the friendship between me and him.
I was beginnig to think the whole relationship was all about him, him and him, because that's all you talk about. Why couldn't you focus on US?
One minute after you said that, you said you didn't want to talk to me anymore because you have nothing to talk about.
Not fine. I.. am speechless.
You know what sucks the most?
That I don't blame you as much as I seem to.
That I am sorry I have brought so much frustrations into your life.
That I still smile when I see you.
That I still want to stick around near you even if we ignore each other completely.
That I still care and hate to see the frown on your face these days.
I wish you happiness that I know doesn't lie in me.
posted by Michelle @ 1:00 PM
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