Mow.

2011-12-20T01:33:00.002+08:00

When I see you, I still feel little flutters and I still feel too self-conscious. Much more than it should be.
When I know you wouldn't be with us, some part of me still feels disappointed.
I hardly ever think of you anymore, but sometimes when I do meet you, what you do can change my day much more than I am willing to accept.
Sometimes, I regret acting rather impulsively and pushing you away.
But there was no way I could have tried to be selfish and keep you either.
Things have changed so much and I admit, I do miss us. How we used to be close, how we used to hang out, how I made it so obvious that I was into you, and you never resisted any of those clues, instead behaving like you liked the idea too.
I guess that's all in the past now.

I am so disappointed in myself recently. It always feels like I have so much to improve on. My grades, fencing, everything. They are so... average. Maybe I expect too much of myself.
Yes, I did win individual silver and team gold for FM open. But when I watch videos of myself fence, I feel so embarrassed. Like I'm not good enough. Like I don't deserve it.
So much to improve on.
I guess what's left to do now, is to pick up enough strength to work on it.

2011-12-06T23:52:00.004+08:00

Efforts never seem to pay off sometimes, huh.
Sucks to think that you might have tried so hard only to get nothing in return, while others played by luck and got their results.
Especially sucky when you realize that minimal amount in which they beat you by, could make such a fucking huge difference that you feel the need to... just give up.
Not knowing where you went wrong. Never going to know. Because it's over and it's independent on its own, there will hardly be anything else like that experience in which you can apply what you should have learned from mistakes.
And it pretty much sucks when you realize you have no idea what you are supposed to learn.
Except maybe accepting that, you just can't be as good as some people. No matter how you try.
And it gets even better, you realize that you didn't just screw up some part of your life, you have also screwed up someone's expectations and hopes of you. And the reality hits you that there is no way you can ever reverse this or ever redeem yourself because you will never be involved with that other party again. This was your only chance to prove that their regard of you was not misplaced, but you fucked it up, and it will always remain like that for as long as either of you remember.

That fucking burns.

2011-11-17T02:17:00.003+08:00

You are being way too nice to me, you know?

When you gave me the gift today, do you know what was going through my head? It wasn't just the surprise or shock, but also the heavy realization that maybe I didn't view this as seriously as I was supposed to. I mean I had an idea that you were interested, perhaps, from all the comments from our mutual friend and how nicely you have been treating me. But when I looked at what you gave me, I realized just how much thought you put into putting the gift together so nicely. That box held so much thoughtfulness, concern and effort, it made me almost appalled at how I could have missed the extent of your seriousness.
You were way way more serious than I had predicted, and to be honest, more than anything else, that scares me.
You are such a nice guy, even after knowing you for such a short time, you remember what I like and dislike, what I've said and done, and you showed that you did through what you gave me today.

I'm not some expert at reading emotions.
But perhaps like anyone else, I tend to be a lot more sensitive in trying to pick out a person's emotions when I bear my own set of emotions towards the said person. It only makes one a lot more attentive.
So maybe it is not that you did not display your emotions, or that you are just a naturally nice guy and have done all that without serious feelings, but rather because I was not sensitive enough to notice.
It scares me to think that way, that I didn't notice because my eyes and heart were elsewhere.

Eventually we would need to talk about this. I know one day I will pull you out to talk to you, to tell you I'm not ready, that I won't be ready any time soon.
I do want to fall for you. It would be such a blessing if I do so, because you are such an amazing guy.
But the fact remains that, I haven't, and I'm not falling for you right now.
I don't know if I will, but until then, my decision would be to seek you out to let you know.. that I'm not worth it.
Give me a bit of time to digest, for us to finish our final examinations first, before we talk.

You need to know, I tend to run when I see real, serious emotions, especially if they are not mutual on my part.
You need to know, that I feel burdened whenever any guy speaks of love, of forever, of waiting... because I'm not capable of returning the same.

Can you one day change my mind?
The fact is that you are different from the rest, I felt like there could be something special, but all of my instincts are telling me I don't like you enough, and I'm not ready.
So despite me enjoying your company and friendship, I still would have to say it.
I'm sorry.

2011-11-05T19:41:00.002+08:00

I haven't needed so much strength in such a long time. With pressure bearing down on me from all sides, it's so hard to complete everything despite staying focused all the way. So many things to do, and all have equal priority... Three presentations next week, none of which are prepared for, reports to be handed in, essays that aren't done, and organ exam which I'm seriously hardly prepared for... until this week is over, I need to stay as strong and as focused as I can.
Hwaiting!

2011-11-01T11:37:00.003+08:00

When I heard that news that you found a new girlfriend, I couldn't really stop the sinking feeling. And I don't know why. I have claimed so confidently some time back that I definitely do not like you anymore, and I even made sure to let you know that I no longer like anyone, knowing that you probably already know I'm referring to you.
All this time, you probably knew. I have been trying to let you know without actually saying it out. Because when the words are out, a few things can happen, and none of them are what I would want. When the words are out, I can't get out of it anymore. I didn't want to change our friendship because I liked where we are then.
Yet I wanted you to know.
Thus began the weird crazy conversations where I dropped unlimited hints to make sure you know. And you probably did.
And I noticed that you've been paying me more attention because of that, until the point i told you I no longer liked anyone.

Recently you just became more distant, and this news I heard only explained that perfectly.
What I am more disappointed in is that you don't even bother telling me, and I don't think you ever will unless I ask. It really does sadden me. We used to be close friends, I liked the idea of us staying as close friends for a long time to come. Apparently not.
I really don't know why you wouldn't tell me and just chose to distance yourself. I know it's not just because you don't want to talk to other girls while having a girlfriend because I heard this news from a girl.
Now I know, I want to ask you for confirmation, but I don't want to hear the answer.
More than the fact that you're with someone else, it's the fact that we're no longer the close friends we used to be. I wonder if you knew how much I treasured this friendship, because apparently you don't.

I guess things between us will always be this unspoken.
Maybe that's for the best.

2011-10-12T21:33:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry, not for the previous blog post, but for not talking to you directly about it.
Our friendship has been through too much, for me to give it up over something stupid like this.
So I won't.

Still love you, just short-fused -___- sheesh, uni.

2011-10-04T22:26:00.002+08:00

I don't need one of my best friends to tell me what I already know.

I'm not even going to talk to you personally about this now, I'm under a rather big stress right now. It's week 8, I've got 12-page essays and more to hand in by week 9, individual presentation at week 10, group projects and presentations by week 11 and week 12, an organ exam most people fail at week 11, and finals at the final week. I hate how I procrastinate and am trying to change my bad habits and deal with all the workload all at once.
I already screwed up my mid terms and am lagging.

I know it was a mistake to even reply his message, and definitely a mistake to agree to go out with him. It was a mistake to listen to your suggestion not to eliminate him as an option. Thanks for the advice, I won't take it again.
I don't even know how to defend myself anymore. Maybe I'll just accept it, huh? Yep, I was a fucking heartless bitch for replying his messages and agreeing to go out with him and not being able to realize that he was that crazy over me. Which, by the way, isn't even justified because he has known me for less than a week, and half of what he knows is form messaging. Right from day two of knowing him, he already started showing concern and soon started to talk about how he wants to spend time with me. You want my honest opinion? He doesn't like me because of me. He likes me because I'm a girl. He likes me because he has imposed an ideal girl on me. He likes me because he likes the idea of liking someone. That is not me. He scares me because he likes me without knowing me at all. He scares me, he makes me feel burdened all the time because of the expectations his words always hold, and yes I shouldn't have gone out with him, because halfway through the date I realized how wrong it was that he expects so much when he barely knows me.
Call it a misjudgement on my part then, that I couldn't have analyzed his character better in one week.

I don't think it's very nice for you to have lashed out against me, considering you treat me as a close friend, for a guy who definitely doesn't like me as much as he seems to.
Sure, a lot of things you have said to me in the past were true. I appreciate that you have been opening my eyes to a lot of things.
But not this time, I don't think so.

And I definitely did not need you bringing up my previous relationships. They are still a rather sensitive matter to me, and it was pretty mean that you used it as a weapon to prove your point. I am still living in the shadows of my relationship with G, if you haven't realized. I still see it as entirely my fault that I lost the feelings, no matter how other friends have told me I can't control my feelings. I know G thinks I'm heartless, and maybe so do you. I really wished you could've seen how there was no way out, though. How did you expect me to retain my feelings when they were fading away? Force it to come back? Did you expect me to stay with him because it's a commitment? Then that would make it a 100% obligation with 0% willingness, and that's unfair to him as well. And when I left, you say it as if I totally screwed up.
I still feel guilty, I still feel the waste, I still feel sad, but I can't do anything about it, but you don't even see that.

With Z, I admit I was impulsive. I hadn't gotten over the trauma of the previous relationship and I threw myself recklessly into commitment, and with a guy so unpredictable too. So fine, I'll leave it at that. You win.

You bringing up my previous relationships... that really did hurt. It just reminded me all over again why I am so fail at relationships, why I shouldn't have one, why I should not go out with guys, why I should never tell the guy I like how I really feel, why I should just freaking stay single. Thanks for that. It only made me more determined to avoid relationships at all costs.

I hope you won't feel injustified towards anyone anymore then.

Life @ SMU thus far...

2011-09-07T00:16:00.002+08:00

So, I'm mid-way into my fourth week in university. I don't think anyone reads this blog anymore but who cares, I wanna keep it as a memory of my own life!

First of all, the workload is crazyyyyy, no doubt. Already I have a headache trying to keep track of all the things I need to do. Come to think of it, I should list all of them for personal reference too.

Financial Accunting:
I have a test + a presentation + homework + deadline of online class discussion (class participation marks..) on Friday.

Stats:
a lot of exercises piling up.

Technology & World Change: lots of readings + weekly blog updates + individual report outline + individual presentation topic to think of + group meetings for project

Business, Government & Society:
a group project consultation meeting tomorrow + lots of readings for both notes and textbook + upcoming test on week 6

Thank goodness I have almost nothing for Analytical Skills. Except the fact that our project assignments will be given up tomorrow.

Four weeks into uni and.. phew.
Definitely not your typical JC life. But I'm getting used to it, I believe. I still procrastinate a lot (hey what's new...) but I do realize how much I have to do.
Sigh. Okay finally time to convert to a SMUgger starting tomorrow, lol.

School work aside... let's take a look into the other aspects of uni life.

Friends.
Most of the time there would be different people for every class, no friends will probably have more than two of the same classes as me. Which is actually not as bad as it sounds, because I do make friends at every class. Not very close friends, but good enough. Some classes are better (FA peeps always eat lunch tgt after that ^^ and my BGS proj mates are awesome funny people), some are.. meh. If you're really lucky, you meet a friend you can get along with right away (I went out for lunch with a friend I met on the third day of school, which is pretty much an achievement to me. HAHA. A pity I withdrew from that class immediately after that.)
So I do make friends. But I admit the closest of my friends are those from Fencing, close in the sense that I've studied with them, gone supper with them several times, and even watched a movie once. That kinda close. Which is jjang :)
So definitely my take is, if you want close friends, join a freaking CCA! Haha! It's partly the reason why I wanted more than one CCA but now I realize that I probably won't have time to commit to more than one ._.

I guess the thing about SMU (or most unis for that matter), is that you'll probably have a LOT of acquaintances, a lot meaning you can't get away a day without bumping into a few people you know. But not so much of 'close friends'.

FOOD.
The food in SMU is expensive. I mean of course right? Haha.
The food is.. normal I guess. Normal things you'll find everywhere, nothing special. But it's good that it's located near town... POPEYES! <3

CAMPUS.
A lot of people complain that SMU has a very corporate environment. I used to think I'd feel dull studying in such a campus. Turns out.. totally not. Surprisingly it has a good effect on me. It actually makes me feel more.. hardworking? Idk. It's like the feel of the school, haha. SMU always gives me some sort of intellectual aura or something that makes me want to study, or maybe it's just the culture. -shrugs-
Talking about the culture, it's a lot like CJ actually. Most people are outgoing and will want to talk to you. Class participation aspect can be scary in some classes, but so far it's not so bad. I've done it once or twice, will participate more in the future as much as I can.

Fashion..?
Right, so there is always this stereotype that SMU people are very well dressed. I won't deny that there are a large number of people who come to school looking like they just left the runway (or on their way there), or looking like they're gonna go clubbing afterwards, or that they are in town (technically speaking they are). But there are also equally many people that dress more down-to-earth, simple, casual, slack. Haha.
I think I've gone from town-ish to casual/slack in like three days. Tired of thinking what to wear haha.
But really it shouldn't pressurize you so much. Just wear whatever you think you will look decent enough in, even if it's a simple tee and shorts.

This post is not complete but I'm sleepy and I have lessons tomorrow. Shall edit another time.

2011-09-05T00:42:00.001+08:00

You are adorable. Wonder if you know that. Super cute with your eye-smiles that you dislike.

2011-09-04T17:34:00.002+08:00

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you want me with you here beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too

Love me, that's all I ask of you.

- All I Ask of You (Andrew Lloyd Webber)

2011-08-30T22:28:00.002+08:00

A while back I found out my brother broke up with his girlfriend, and when I talked to him today, he was nonchalant about it. It's like he realized all along that he didn't want a relationship at all.
He told me of the friendships he had forsaken for her and he regretted doing so.
He told me of how she couldn't accept him completely for who he is and it always frustrated him because he always tried to accept her for everything that she is.
He told me of how eventually he felt obliged rather than willing.
He told me that they were incompatible.
He told me he flat out broke up with her and refused to stay in contact with her, because no matter how cruel he is being, the faster he does it the faster she gets over him.

For all of the above, I've been there and done that bro, and I completely agree.

Oh the pessimists that we are. Haha.

I can't even bring myself to like anyone anymore. It's like if I feel the slightest bit of interest towards anyone, I will automatically withdraw and stop myself.
):

Jitters

2011-08-11T13:13:00.005+08:00

School is starting next Tuesday, and I'm feeling the nervousness. I just received an email from the TA for my Business, Government and Society class and well, everything sounds so serious and it's just a whack in my head to let me know that hey, university is REALLY starting, no joke. It sounds like the first few weeks are gonna be busy already and this is only one out of four courses ._.
Furthermore I am making plans to commit myself to a lot more things that I hope I can handle. I still want to hold on to my MBS work shifts to earn the extra cash, I registered for dance lessons with Wei Yan and she wants it twice a week, I still have organ with the exam due November and my teacher reminding me constantly that it's rare to pass this grade with one try ._.
To add on to that I still want to join a CCA of course. It'll either be back to Fencing for me or a new sports.
After that i STILL want to join another club CCA LOL.
Kill me naoooooo.

Oh and I got soooo pissed when I saw that several lessons for BGS were shifted to Saturdays, because HEY that's my working date! ):
My $$!! Haha!
I am pretty certain that SMU is more expensive than NTU in terms of campus life (although SMU has no proper campus). The food, the course (Biz vs Psyc = more presentations or formal wear or whatttt), the lessons (because Studio Wu is so conveniently at SMU basement)... etc.
My brain is pretty fried now because so many things are happening at one go and I was used to such slack stimulation and a fixed schedule, i.e. eat, sleep, go work, eat, sleep again, go out with friends.
Now I've got a lot of admin stuff to settle with SMU, textbooks to buy, commitments to handle. To add on to that I've got so many talks to go to because I missed them. Darn!

AND, why the heck am I still a registered student in NTU?! Why the heck did I receive smses asking me to go register for NTU ezlink card. Why the heck am I still able to add/drop courses in NTU?
I hope they faster process so they won't end up charging me school fees from NTU -.- that'll be some messed up shit.
Ugh. They just won't let me forget what I gave up ._. it's still bittersweet to me yknow. Seeing that I have to study about the economy when really, I'm honestly more interested to learn about memories and cognitive psychology.
But I guess I don't have the confidence that I will want to practice psychology my whole life. Business kinda opens me to a lot more prospects and jobs that I will probably enjoy more.

I have so many post-its on my macbook and they all say the same things over and over again LOL.
I have a tendency to keep creating them because I don't do them.

Today we're going to visit Tivona, most likely, at CJ, and I'll collect my cert. Hoping that I'll meet some of my teachers! ^^

Too many things to do, too little time. In some ways, you giving up on us was a good idea, wasn't it?
Or was it me giving up on us?
Yeah, it was my efforts that faltered.
But when you asked me for my answer, the one I had in mind was to keep trying.
Yet there was no point because you were tired, too, tired enough to want to give up.

I am keeping this blog regardless of whether or not there are viewers. I just kinda want to keep a track of my life, because when I read back to my archives there were a lot of memories that I barely remember, but I'm glad I noted down (:

2011-08-08T16:55:00.003+08:00

I think I like what is bad for me.

I like potato chips and snacks of the same caliber.
I like salty ramen and cup noodles.
I like being super messy and disorganized and i think that's the best condition in which i can easily find my things in.
I like lazing around and eating non-stop before the computer.
I like guys.
I like guys who are unpredictable, thrilling, and never leaves me at complete ease when I'm with them. I like guys who leave me hanging because it makes me want them more. I sincerely hope it's just a phase.

D:

2011-08-05T12:28:00.003+08:00

This is so surreal.
Okay so what happened was this. I was on my way to NTU on a bright sunny Wednesday morning, 3rd August, to attend the welcome ceremony which would kick off my Psychology academic life at NTU. On the jam-packed MRT, I received a phone call at around 9. So it went a little like this.

Me: Hello?
Woman: Hi, is this Michelle?
Me: Yes?
Woman: We are calling from SMU. You made an appeal to the Business course, yes?
Me: Yeah?
Woman: Your appeal is successful. Would you like to accept the offer?
Me: Successful?!?! (the fuck)
Woman: Yes.
Me: Uh when would I need to confirm my decision?
Woman: By today actually. Can I call back at around 10?
Me: (hell no!!)

And so in the welcome ceremony I was too preoccupied to actually listen. In the end I chose to go over to SMU so I'm now a fully matriculated business student in SMU.
It did make me sad when NTU sent an email wishing me all the best and stating that I need to submit a withdrawal form. It's like bittersweet. Although Business was what i wanted all along, I had grown accustomed to the idea of studying Psychology and pursuing a career in it, it sounded so interesting too.
So I made a life changing decision and basically I have abandoned my Psych dream forever ;/ dramatic as it sounds, it probably is true. I have in fact changed the whole course of my life because I'm goign to a completely different university, different cultures, different friends... all I can pray and hope for is that I will make this decision the right one.
Even though now I do have a little regrets here and then. Like when I have to go through the bidding experience and see the words 'Calculus' and 'Financial Accounting' appearing in my schedule instead of 'Biological Psychology' or 'Forensic Psychology', and when I'm reminded how competitive SMU's students will be, I often tend to sit back and wonder if staying in NTU might be the right decision.
But I made my choice so I'll suck it up no matter what! haha.

And because Wei Yan kept scaring me and saying SMU girls are super well-dressed, I accompanied her to go shopping and bought a few tops and this pair of brown boots that I really like! It's those boots with laces and rugged soles, a bit army-ish and well, idk how to describe! Maybe I'll take a picture when I have time and edit this post.
I liked this pair but they didn't have my size so Wei Yan took it since it was her size.. I found another one at another shop at a more expensive price, and more lacking in design.. ): oh well but it's more comfy. Haha.
I said before I wanted high top sneakers, I guess this pair of boots will be its replacement :)
Anyway my Zara boots are kinda falling apart despite my attempts to keep them together with notsotrusty super glue.

2011-07-17T14:58:00.002+08:00

LOL MUCH.
I was watching the Phantom of the Opera and just as the theme song played, the hook thingy attached to the wall fell together with all the bags hung on it.
;O

2011-07-13T13:50:00.000+08:00

Hehehehe.
I am crazy.

2011-07-09T02:50:00.000+08:00

he's just one more.
he's just one more.
he's just one more.

is he?

2011-07-08T02:42:00.004+08:00

心的伤害有一些不要紧

我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧,

唱什么歌哄她开心?

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌

2011-07-08T01:05:00.003+08:00

Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool,
No lovers fool;
He scares me so.

- I Don't Know How to Love Him

The Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber was pretty good, better than I expected! Although i only watched the first half... whatever I watched was good anyways :) I enjoyed most of the music.

You are starting to go all cute and aegyo-ish on me. Hmm. It is kinda cute and it does make me smile.
But strictly friends.

2011-07-07T02:42:00.000+08:00

you feel like paradise

2011-07-07T02:08:00.003+08:00

can't sleep.
gotta help jasmine with report.

today i shall not have CAPS at the beginning of sentences

2011-07-06T01:51:00.003+08:00

omg putting on contact lenses is soooo hard! ._.
now it makes me wonder why i bought them. four boxes, too!!
because well, i can see without them. just not very well. because of that i have learnt to recognize people by the way they walk or their posture, though... was even telling Zul about it the other day. i most definitely know yours, i know it's you from far far away.
of course that will spoil my eyes more which is why i bought.. contacts.
;/
and freak they're so hard to put on and remove. i was T-T all the time.
maybe i'll try putting like.. once a week.. but i need to get over today's trauma first though before i will dare again!
.__.
do. not. blink.

2011-07-05T01:37:00.003+08:00

Too many times these days i look upon your back as you walk away;
my gaze will be fixed on you until you are out of sight.
Until then, will you ever look back and see that I am looking?
It feels like once you go, you will never come back.

And you have already gone..

Beautiful Stranger

2011-07-04T01:40:00.004+08:00

Ahhhh I love this performance so much! The dance is so sleek and Taeyeon totally owns.
Man, I don't care that this video exceeds the width of the blog frame.

Read all you want. Wasn't it what you wanted, to hear me say everything truthfully? Then you can walk away like you always do :)

2011-07-02T13:00:00.003+08:00

OMG SOMEONE COMMENTED ON THE FANFICTION I POSTEDLIKE FIVE YEARS AGO?
LOL.
This makes me want to continue!!
But I am a bit lazy to do so and I feel that my writing skills are not up to date... it's probably lousier than five years ago?
Man I was such an awesome kid when I was 13. I didn't have my first love like Justin Bieber. Har har, dry joke. Anyways, I remember that I co-owned a website and used to design cool graphics for them. And on Neopets, I designed layouts for my guild forums and my own lookups. Pretty cool, amazing stuff. To add on to that of course, I wrote fanfictions that had a fair amount of readers.
Well.. I think I was a geek but who cares cuz I was an awesome geek who had real skills.
I'm not sure what happened to that now. I think she grew up and became more sociable and goes around ~~breaking people's hearts and getting her own heart broken~~ making more friends.
So anyway, I will try to at least revive some of my skills. I'm working on it!! See how I started blogging even if nobody reads?
And from there i WILL work on my fanfiction once more!!

Sucks to be a procrastinator.

Jakarta was okay. The wedding party was tiring and I was ready to chuck my heels out of the window. But overall, the trip was nice because my cousin was there and we hung out a lot.
Lol what a boring summary.
Moving on...

I CUT BANGS!
hooray.
some peole have said they liked it and that I pull it off... some said it makes me look cheena and others, korean... some said that it suits my image better.
yeah more people think I'm cute than people who think I'm pretty T-T
saddened.
I mean cute is awesome, but well... yknow. yeah.

As expected of a girl's blog, there will be mentions of guys.
And right now I need to rant about him.

He, with his indecisive heart, his impulsive actions, his one-track mind... why can't you decide what you want?
Nothing makes you happy.

Before we got together, you said you didn't want a relationship because you think you don't like me enough.. fine.

However you started acting like we were together... fine.

Then your feelings grew and you wanted a serious relationship. I was honestly wary about it but even when my friends tell me to leave, I stayed because you were worth it.

Into the relationship you kept getting jealous that I talked to him, so okay I stopped talking so much to him. All you could see was that I still talked to him (uh, duh he's my friend and i see him at work?!), but not HOW MUCH. Some part of your delusional mind kept believing he is out to steal me away from you. But you don't know that he has been telling me about another girl in his life.

And then guess what? Some days later you came to me and said, 'Hey! I have no feelings for you today. How?!'
How?! The hell?

And even after that you expect me to tell you if I'm sad, my troubles, how I feel about this... don't you think I have the slightest right to keep my feelings to myself after what you said? I also needed to protect myself from someone who can say he loves me one day and take it back the next.

The next day, you said you missed me.

The next day after that, we broke up.

Because you said you acn't trust me, you havae no confidence in me.

When I finally told you all my frustrations, you said you were disappointed because if I had said all that, the relationship could have been saved. So you resorted to a break up to find out if I really care?

After the break up, you didn't want to talk, so fine.

Then you wanted to talk, fine.

Then you started flirting again... fine.

Then you decided your feeligs are fading... FINE.

Yesterday (or rather, today), you messaged me at 4am in the morning saying that you keep thinking of me. And that you are still jealous of the friendship between me and him.
I was beginnig to think the whole relationship was all about him, him and him, because that's all you talk about. Why couldn't you focus on US?
One minute after you said that, you said you didn't want to talk to me anymore because you have nothing to talk about.

Not fine. I.. am speechless.

You know what sucks the most?
That I don't blame you as much as I seem to.
That I am sorry I have brought so much frustrations into your life.
That I still smile when I see you.
That I still want to stick around near you even if we ignore each other completely.
That I still care and hate to see the frown on your face these days.

I wish you happiness that I know doesn't lie in me.

Packing~

2011-06-21T22:36:00.002+08:00

I have no idea what to pack. Seriously Michelle. It's just one week + one day in Indonesia, one day is cancelled out because of the wedding, so you shouldn't have so much trouble deciding what clothes to bring back.
Your wardrobe is damn full but you have nothing to bring ._.
I always have this nagging feeling that I misplaced a couple of my clothes!! Which is why it feels like I keep going shopping and getting new stuff but nuuuuu I can't seem to find decent things to wear .__. damn.
Maybe one day I should sit down and think about all the outfits I've bought/owned. And make a list so that I will know if I misplaced any.
This is such a pointless post.
I just got distracted from packing again. Only a pair of jeans, a tank top, a button-up shirt and a pair of leggings are in my luggage.
What am I even gonna wear the leggings with?

.__.

2011-06-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

Omg! My twitter and blog show up when I google my name!
Yes I am shocked because obviously I don't google my name!!!
Oh well. So much for privacy. At least my facebook doesn't show up :P

2011-06-21T19:32:00.002+08:00

Everybody looks for hope as they traveled the entire past.
Just like becoming a flower bouquet from the seeds gathered in your small hands.

Even if you can't find the answer
Maybe I know, you know
Born to be a lady

The reason why flowers are fragrant,
The reason why birds sing,
The reason why the wind shines,
The reason why the moon comes around,
The reason why I convey my love to you like this,
Is to receive love from you someday.
The hope is LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
The hope is LOVE
LOVE LOVE LOVE is all

When you can’t see what is truly important, even when you can’t feel it either.
Because it’s like that, even if it is big and heavy, you are able to walk easily while holding it.

Since it was a night where nothing could be heard
Promise I'm here, you hear?
Born to be part of the world

The reason why a flower dies,
The reason why a feather falls,
The reason why the wind blows ahead
The reason why the night returns,
The reason why you become stronger like this
Is so you can protect someone someday.
The hope is LOVE

Ah, even if I’m a tiny girl who doesn’t have any strength,
One day, I will become stronger
Ah, even though I might not be able to achieve my small dream right away
definitely, some day it will.

SNSD - Born To Be A Lady

Ahhh I really love this song :) Such a beautiful melody with beautiful lyrics sung by beautiful ladies.

Alright,

2011-06-21T01:45:00.004+08:00

No soul in this world would be reading this. (except st maybe)
BUT it doesn't matter!
I will do it for myself! -hugs self-

My life. My life, summarized; howmanyyearshasitbeensinceilastbloggedagain?
I don't even know where to start! This is so awkward! Omg!

Fine I will start with saying that there still is no news from SMU & NUS about my appeals :( I hope they will have good news of course, but if not I am fine with NTU Psychology. In fact I may be slightly biased towards it because NTU has never rejected me and always got back to me pretty fast! Awesome school 8D
So basically, my life doesn't consist of much. Normal life of a teenage girl.
I shall list 10 things that has changed since I last blogged here:

1. I lost my abs. T-T
2. I graduated from JC (albeit with veryaverage - lousy grades)
3. I am in a Chinese speaking clique in my work place. Omg! :O the surprise.
4. Oh I should have mentioned this before number 3. I now have a job and an income! Yayeeeee! And I love the work place because of all its dramas and friends and all that awesome stuff.
5. I became a SONE! <3 Haha! And a KPOP fan, because English music is getting sucky nowadays. Except a couple.
6. I. Went. Clubbing. Twice. Mwahahaha.
7. Inevitably, I have also started drinking. But i'm not an alcoholic!!!
8. I now own a smartphone, a Blackberry, my bb. A useless one however, with no data plan, but all the same (Y)
9. I use makeup now. Not everyday but pretty often, light ones. Hooray.
10. I use vulgarities now... oh noes!

Okay that's basically all i can list out from my head now. Not really. It's because I said it's 10 at first so I only list 10. But whatever~

Why is it that the moment I change my facebook status to single, someone starts flirting with me and another asks me out. I mean I'm sure both are pretty harmless and flitting.. oh wait that's worse. Guys come and go. Most of them don't stay :X
I'm outta relationships man. NO more until a long time.
Pfft yeah right. I said that the other time and look what happened!
I'll just deal with it when it comes, then.

Random: I watched You're Beautiful and it was alright. Pretty nice but overrated like Boys Over Flowers. It had some really nice moments but some parts were kinda draggy even though I understand that they are crucial to the storyline :X
I still think My Name Is Kim Sam Soon deserves a higher popularity ranking than You're Beautiful. Then again the latter is newer and has more idol-ish actors (Yonghwa is really one of the most handsome korean guys and Lee Hong Ki, one of the cutest ones.)
-shrugs-

Oh yeah and today I went to run on the real tracks and not on the gym treadmill and surprisingly, I'm not as unfit as I thought!!! :D I mean it's not exactly very fit, but I thought I had become more unfit. Guess the swimming, walking and gym-ing kept me fit enough. I'm gonna work towards my abs! People who have had abs and lost them... I'm sure they will understand why I'm so determined to gain them back :)

There’s something about him. It’s so frustrating but it’s impossible to deny. He has this charm about him that just keeps me hooked. So much so that no matter how much he hurt me, I can’t bring myself to hate him or stop talking to him or stay away, even when he has made it clear (in a cold, cruel way) that I am not worth his effort anymore and that he has lost all confidence in me. So why am I still sticking around? Why do I hold on to every of his sweet words that he says to me now, even after we ended? I feel pathetic yet it feels like I’m doing the right thing. ):

As usual, I'm still posting those small font paragraphs that reveal my feelings. Lol. It makes things cooler.

Alright I'm off~ Lovely first update in years. Annyeong!

2010-04-24T21:40:00.001+08:00

And so, he finally asked.
<3

2010-03-31T01:03:00.000+08:00

Such comfortable silences.

2010-03-28T22:33:00.003+08:00

One night of not talking to you, feels so weird.
This is how close we've become :)

2010-03-17T16:56:00.004+08:00

One of the most epic conversations I had with Jack.

17/3/2010	4:46:10 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	meow
17/3/2010	4:46:22 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	....
17/3/2010	4:46:25 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	u ct ah?
17/3/2010	4:46:30 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	cat ah?
17/3/2010	4:47:09 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	yep
17/3/2010	4:47:16 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	kk
17/3/2010	4:47:22 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	i not cat
17/3/2010	4:47:27 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	u can go play with other cats
17/3/2010	4:47:30 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	:P
17/3/2010	4:47:36 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	=p
17/3/2010	4:48:15 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	HAHAHAHA
17/3/2010	4:48:18 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	THIS IS GOING ON MY BLOG
17/3/2010	4:48:21 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	IT'S FREAKING RANDOM.
17/3/2010	4:48:50 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	u r the random one
17/3/2010	4:48:53 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	to begin with
17/3/2010	4:48:54 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	what meow
17/3/2010	4:48:57 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	kesiao ah u
17/3/2010	4:49:20 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	HAHAHA
17/3/2010	4:49:28 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	RETARDED
17/3/2010	4:49:31 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	^^
17/3/2010	4:49:34 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	im glad i did not go to cjc
17/3/2010	4:49:42 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	where education there
17/3/2010	4:49:46 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	turns some people
17/3/2010	4:49:50 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	into retards
17/3/2010	4:49:53 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	OI!
17/3/2010	4:50:00 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	eh?
17/3/2010	4:50:04 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	no meow alr ah
17/3/2010	4:50:06 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	HAHAHA
17/3/2010	4:50:08 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	i tot ct meow only
17/3/2010	4:50:10 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	nowgot oi
17/3/2010	4:50:11 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	O.O
17/3/2010	4:50:21 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	HAHA GO AWAY LAH JACK HAHA
17/3/2010	4:50:28 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	awwwwwwwwwwwww
17/3/2010	4:50:31 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHH
17/3/2010	4:51:08 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	u see
17/3/2010	4:51:10 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	even the cat
17/3/2010	4:51:12 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	in your dp
17/3/2010	4:51:16 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	also laughing at u
17/3/2010	4:51:23 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	rolling on the floor laughing
17/3/2010	4:51:51 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	k l
17/3/2010	4:51:53 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	k la
17/3/2010	4:51:57 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	dun angry pwese
17/3/2010	4:52:02 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	pwease
17/3/2010	4:52:04 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	HAHAHAHAHAHA JACK SIM HAHAHA
17/3/2010	4:52:11 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	that's it this is going on facebook
17/3/2010	4:52:17 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	:D
17/3/2010	4:52:19 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	i remove tag leh
17/3/2010	4:52:22 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	wad u want do
17/3/2010	4:52:23 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	BOO YOU
17/3/2010	4:52:27 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	=p
17/3/2010	4:52:28 PM	» michelle vammainen	Jack	FINE idc, i let other people see
17/3/2010	4:52:35 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	let lorrrr
17/3/2010	4:52:36 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	HAHAHAHAHA
17/3/2010	4:52:40 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	i dun give a shit
17/3/2010	4:52:42 PM	Jack	» michelle vammainen	hahahahahahaaahhahahaa

what went on afterwards was...
» michelle vammainen says (4:53 PM):
SHIT HAHA I ACCIDENTALY CLOSED THE CONV
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jack says (4:53 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
TOLD U
U R RETARDED
AHHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAAA
U JUST
MADE MY DAY
AHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAA

Here's why I've been really unhealthy:
Thursday: Ate at Macs with Gerard. It's his birthday!
Friday: Ate at Carls Jr. with the fencing gang, before watching Green Zone :) That was a really great outing, we should really have it again.
Saturday: Ate instant noodles with my brother, too lazy to go out.
Sunday: Ate pizza with my brothers, too lazy to go out.
Monday: Ate at Long John Silver with Gerard.
Tuesday: Ate at KFC with Monisha and Gerard.

Wts, that's 6 times in less than a week!
:(

I realize that I've been hanging out with fencing people 24/7
And tomorrow, when we go Selangor, that's another five days with them.
Not that I'm complaining, of course. I love them too much.
It really saddens me when I think about stepping down.
:(

If only good times can last forever <3

2010-03-12T23:21:00.005+08:00

You instantly help anyone, even if it means at your own stake.
In order to make me take your jacket or drink, you insisted that you didn't want them anymore, knowing I'd only accept them that way.
How convincing you can be, really, when it's mostly not true!
You know exactly when I'm unhappy, and I saw that you were apprehensive each time you asked if I'm okay. (Am I that scary when pissed?) It means a lot to me that you still want to find out.
We can sit down and talk for long hours on end, about anything, and you tell me your fears like you trusted me.
I liked how you offered your hand when I said I was cold, and you held it like you'll never let go.

I've never known a guy so sensitive to human emotions, so in touch with the heart.
You really changed my viewpoint on guys.

For a very very long time, I won't be forgetting you :)

i think, only debby and blaha would know who i'm talking about.
----

Something funny that was said to me one day:
Recognito says (12:38 AM):
bah stoopid guys who are not nice
i think i'm bi

HAHAH I LOVE YOU BLAHA! Not in the bi way, but you get it! :)

2010-03-09T22:49:00.002+08:00

It's amazing how such simple words can go such a long way.
I guess it's the strength of sincerity that you feel from the person, that's so special.

You don't meet my expectations, you make me forget about them.
:)

2010-03-07T15:32:00.004+08:00

If you could see what I see, that you're the answer to my prayer :)
I can't explain enough; you're simply amazing.

Really,

2010-03-03T00:03:00.002+08:00

Night study is productive.
Aside from a couple of diversions by Gerard and Monisha, I could focus! Yay.
I must say it's the first time I could study around them both. My partners in crime. The last time we tried, we got chased out -.-"

Alright time to mug again.
What a pointless post HAHA.

2010-02-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

» michelle says (11:01 PM):
HAHA I'M JIAYOU-ING YOU LEH
Jack says (11:01 PM):
AHHH
BUT HOW TO TO JIA YOU
PETROL STATION
THEN CAN JIA YOU MAH

...

HAHAHA.

Junior Trials today!
I got thrashed by a national fencer, but it doesn't upset me because I learnt a lot from it :)
Plus I made my own personal achievements today. I used one of the tricks Coach taught us, and it worked perfectly (almost actually, I was a little slow, but it still worked :))
And, I actually beat another national fencer. I didn't know she was one, until Sherry told me after the match!
And when Gerard told me that I'm facing a nat in the first DE, I totally .__.ed. Not to mention that yellow card plus warning spooked me. So I still havfe a long way to go in learning to fence properly even under pressure.

Tomorrow I shall really study. Really.

Happy Valentines/CNY

2010-02-12T17:46:00.005+08:00

I woke up and came to school happy today, because there was only maths in the morning, before CNY concert.

During break, Caleb visited me at my class level and gave me a pink rose. That is in full bloom! Damn pretty. So sweet of him :)
We then went around to look for and disturb the other fencers around, picking up Monisha and Gerard on the way.
After crapping around for a while, Monisha kinda got high on air, as usual, and passed it on to me.

Chinese new year concert were pretty good at some points, pretty boring at others. As usual. But the ODAC performance was the epic for me because they were soo funny.

It was supposed to be training after that. But eventually Gerard cancelled it because few people turned up and we all didn't want PT. We decided to go out instead, and suddenly the people who ponned training popped up out of nowhere. However for some reasons, it ended up with only me, Gerard and Monisha eating at Far East.
After that Monisha left for her tuition, so I stoned around with Gerard waiting for Carissa to come. But she ended late so we just went home.

I still wanna watch Percy and the Lightning Thief :(

When I got home I told my mom the pink rose is from a guy, and the yellow one was from a girl, Monisha. She bought for all of us yesterday :)
I thought she'd ask, "what guy?" but instead she asked, "why got girl?"
Nice.

I think on Valentines Day/CNY this Sunday, I'm gonna sleep at home. HAHA.

2010-02-08T20:19:00.003+08:00

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait?
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you've lost your way

What if my chances were already gone?
I started believeing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand, and show you that you can
There are no boundaries

Love this song :)

Novices

2010-02-02T19:11:00.004+08:00

BRONZE medal!

I'm so proud of CJC fencers, we totally rocked the competition. Four of us made it to the quarter finals, no other schools did it. :)
We made the coach eat back his words that we're the worst batch, because we're the best!
I hope we'll really do well for team event this saturday. I know we'll put in our best, as we did for individuals.

Anyway just wanted to say I'm grateful to Jack for coming down. Hahaha. He listened to me explain most of the stuff, and watched me make it past the first Direct Elimination round :) And promised to treat me ice cream since I did! HAHA.

Okay fine now must do maths.

1 day

2010-01-29T22:00:00.003+08:00

to Novices.

That is, for the guys.
It's 2 more days for us girls, competition on Sunday!

Yesterday, after training with Gerard and free-fencing until 8pm in school, I went home suddenly feeling like, I'm ready for the competition.
My bouts weren't perfect, and I was dazed during the one on one session with Gerard, until he even asked me what happened to me, because I kept missing.
But I had that strong feeling that I've learnt everything there is to learn, all that I needed was more focus.

Gerard told me that day that you fence with your brain, not with your heart.
Although at the same time if you think about it, you need to keep your emotions in check in order to think properly, but that's not the point!
Sherry was right when she told us how lucky we were to have him as captain, he took so much responsibility upon himself, including training each one of us individually. Not to mention, a super (gay/sick) awesome friend.

Basically he, Coach, and Sherry (the most awesome senior ever) have given me all the advice they could.
It's my part now.

:)

6 days

2010-01-24T16:54:00.002+08:00

to Novices.

Fencing now takes place 4 times a week, so often that I no longer feel any muscle aches after any exercise, or PE, not even after the 45 continuous guy pushups which (nearly) killed meh.
It's so often that i dream of it! Like, every night for the past week.
That's also because the competition is very important to me.

See how the conscious mind relates to your unconscious mind?

this is so Lit! Which reminds me I have a lit assignment due tomorrow!

2010-01-19T22:53:00.006+08:00

omg. =.=
the whole day today David was singing this song "I'm Only Sleeping" by The Beatles, and he sang it so low and dreary-ly that i COULDN'T focus! Esp during GP.
Plus he wrote down the lyrics on my paper, like reminding me to sleep.
It is so THE lecture song.

When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream

Please don't wake me, no
don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Running everywhere at such a speed
Till they find, there's no need

Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping

Freaking sleepy song can!!
UGH.
Hahahaha.
Yeah, story of my life.

Sitting beside David is extremely amusing especially when you're bored, but yeah, there are moments where I suddenly want to pay attention. Yknow. Hahaha. Sudden guai-ness.

Oh and today, while waiting for PTM, which is kinda pointless because my mom couldn't come so I became my own mom, me, Lizzie, David and Yan Ting MADE cards. Because we didn't have.

^ A little blur, but you can see our effort.
This is a complete PHAIL, as you can see, there was an Ace of spades and a 1 spade. So one other card is missing, and we don't really know what.

Not knowing this, we embarked on a lovely game of Bridge.
Thus, when David chose the ace of spades as his partner, liz and yan ting were both his partners.
I flew solo. Wheee.

I so want to put this on fail blog.

In the end, we borrowed a deck from a member of Bridge club next door. We figured, a bridge club member without cards? Nowai!
The failed cards are now resting underneath david's notes on his table. i put them there, i think by tomorrow morning they'll be under my table.

The rest of the day went smoothly, albeit the few mosquito bites I received. I did a little econs, maths, read Tess etc...
Before the 'PTM'.
Yeah.
Oh and I had to stand during chem lecture today because I didn't bring my notes. So ugh because I couldn't sleep and replenish my energy.

Debby wants the whole world to know that bears meow too.
Random i know.
Then again, what's new? :)

2010-01-17T21:25:00.005+08:00

I have phailed to study this week.
Okay well, I did 8 questions of maths, and suddenly found DE not as complicated as it seemed, the previous time I attempted.
Other than that, and reading a little bit of Tess, nothing.
Nay.

I'm such a slacker.
Waaay to state the obvious.

First week of school was strangely, very tiring! From monday already, I went home late because of a short briefing for open house the next day.
Tuesday, needless to say, was a super busy day. Open house meant advertising wearing (almost) full equipment, in the scorching weather. It was quite fun though!
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were trainings consecutively.

So on Saturday, I spent half the day sleeping, the other half slacking.
And today, I woke up at 11.30, studied a bit till 12, slept till 1. Hehe.

Finally I feel that I have rested enough to endure the second week!
First week felt like forever. Seriously.

I bet Estella and Cassandra are enjoying themselves in France. So envious of them!

This is sewious!
actinglikeanimals.com

2010-01-10T23:47:00.002+08:00

My dad just printed out some pictures from Japan, and one of them with me and my brother in it looks effing awesome.
Oh I have a draft on the Japan trip, which I haven't complete till now. HAHA. Looks like I'm not planning to post anything about it anymore.
Except the really important stuff, like how they stand in two lines when waiting for the train.
That is not gonna happen in 100000000 years in Singapore.

I'm pessimistic. I see the glass half empty, even when it's full.

...
No, not really. That's just a quote from Ryan Nigahiga xD

And I wanna post the pictures on Japan's toilet. Uber fun toilets they have there.
They're also very conservative and environmentally friendly. It's really nice to see a country make such immense efforts, and pretty amusing too, sometimes.

Anyway, tomorrow's the first day of school!
I can't say I'm looking forward to it, or dreading it either.
It's like...
Okay.... school again.

But I'm watching Avatar again tomorrow ^^ In 3D, the other time I watched it in 2D.
Yayyyy, can't wait!

2010-01-08T14:15:00.002+08:00

DW says (2:14 PM):
you have to get married before i do

» michelle 21 days says (2:14 PM):
VHY??

DW says (2:14 PM):
because i want to be your fucking bridesmaid

HAHAHA.

2010-01-04T22:33:00.003+08:00

Oh my goose.
Why do we have so many homework?

my dear friend, you are totally un-understandable ._. yet you keep going on, though i said 'huh?'
instead of 'lol', 'haha okay', 'haha'
maybe i should try 'rofl', 'okay haha', 'hahahaha'.

2010-01-01T23:40:00.003+08:00

First movie in 2010: Treasure Hunter.
Sucked.
Plot is broken, a lot of scenes don't link at all, and there were some extremely random appearances of characters that were never explained.
Don't watch.
I rest my case.

2009-12-31T21:55:00.003+08:00

Yo everyone.
I know I promised a Japan post, but aiya, i abit lazy now. And I want to have a final post before the new year!
Although technically, I started drafting the Japan post since long time ago, so it'll still be a date under 2009.

2009 has gone by pretty quickly, it was a new year for all of us, JC/poly. I hope it's been decent and great for everyone :)
Let's pass into 2010 happily, even though it's the 'A' Levels year!

wishing you all a Happy New Year's eve! :D

2009-12-26T23:48:00.006+08:00

It's still the second day of Christmas.
:)

Anyway, yesterday during Christmas, I went with my family to watch Avatar!

It was so awesome I forgot the popcorn and coke. I only managed to eat a little popcorn before the movie started.
It's really good, you MUST watch it! It is possibly the best movie I've watched this year.
Engaging, emotional plotline, absolutely fantastic visual effects, endearing characters.
It's so surrealistic, the world of the Na'vis, that i was wondering what kind of brilliant wild imagination Cameron has.
And I didn't even watch it in 3D :)

Gerard gave me a christmas cheer today.

G: can u do me a favour
Me: what favour?
G: actually it's not really a favour.
can u sms coach yurself 2 say you'll b going?
i'll mention it at the same time i sms him but it's good 4 ya 2 tell him yurself too
=)
Me: k haha, what's his number?
G: 902
57580
...
Me: that's my number!
G: HAHAHA

I didn't even realize, until i keyed in the number and it appeared as my name. Plus i totally believed that he wanted me to inform coach myself.
Omg.

JAPAN was nice.
I was honestly getting used to the lifestyle there, though I don't quite understand their language.
I really wanna blog about it, but i need to upload the photos first. I'll do it tomorrow morning!
I actually dreamt about being there again last night o.o because in that 15 days, we have gone to several places of attraction, but many days too we sit at the hotel eating cup noodles and playing Bridge. That I introduced to my family.
I'm going to be so awesome at Bridge.
But it just seemed that we were leading a normal-ish life, instead of touring Japan.

Snow in Hokkaido was beautiful. Much more so than the snow in Korea.
Powder soft, I swear. And abundant too ^^

2009-12-24T23:44:00.002+08:00

YAY IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!

there ya go, ly

2009-12-07T00:40:00.012+08:00

1. R is some weird sicko!
NO I do not want to have 'horny chats'. I don't even know you, heck.

2. I don't understand how O ever thought I was interested ._.
Super sensitive much?

3. Go disturb someone else or play something if you're bored, M, because we have major communication barriers. I get amused over how I can't understand what you're saying, rather than over what you're saying ._.
And the stuff that I do understand, are 'wtf'ish and pretty much inappropiate =/

.....

I went to Kbox with my family yesterday ^^
It was awesome, it's been so long since we got together and do something fun~
It was expensive as hell though, $118 altogether. But it was worth it, we ~~screamed~~ sang our hearts out. And my dad is a really really awesome singer, he could reach the high parts really well.
:)

After which, we dropped by Jurong Point to go shopping. we shopped A LOT.

Got necessities such as woolen socks, which were priced at $21.90 for two, pretty expensive but provides good protection, hats with the ear extension thingy etc...
and I got a Veeko winter jacket at a very good buy ^^ I have two now. Hopefully they can last me forever or something.

My brother bought birthday clothes from Levi. Top, and jeans. He is one branded kid, I tell you, most of the clothes he's been buying recently cost above $80 each.
OH, but the awesome thing was, we got the $50 deduction, even though we didn't turn in an old pair of jeans.
They said we could come back another time to give the old jeans. It's kinda obvious that they don't actually care if you bring it or not, haha. Smart that we asked, or else we would've paid $50 more.
Yay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO :)
He is currently out with his girlfriend on a picnic.

Mehh got a new watch! :) My dad shopped a lot so he got it for free. White watch from 25 Hours, supposedly Singapore-themed because it has the national flower on it, worth $99.
I think it's simple and pretty.

It looks better in reality though.

From 23/11 to 26/11, 1T09 went to Batam for OCIP :)

The first day we basically didn't do much.
We went around looking for stuff we need to work on, and talking with the kids.

The older boys were really friendly, and kept wanting to take photos :D
The younger kids were SHY! But super cute. It took me almost 15 minutes to coax them out.
I can't remember some of their names D:

At the front, camwhore king, Arul, 4 years old. He is super smart, he knows how to use the camera after watching how Liz did it a few times!
I think one of the little girls is already 7, but she is so much smaller than another boy who is apparently 5! That is sooo cute.

We only truly started work on the second day, painting and stuff. Me, Sheryl, Jayne and Praneetha worked on the second dorm, painting it blueeeeee.

The girls there (aged about 14-17), were pretty quiet actually. So I was surprised when the next day, they actually helped us paint finish the room while we were out to lunch. :)

Anyway, painting the room wasn't really as easy as it seemed. Even though we cleaned out the room before that, it was still dusty and full of insect nests, so we had to paint over them. Furthermore the paint was kinda diluted, so one wall needs many times of repainting, which resulted in extremely uneven shades.
Four of us got discouraged when we saw that.
But it looked better when the paint dried, so yay.

It was tiring too, yaknow.

But that's the whole fun of it.

We finished up the basic job, leaving many blank spots where we couldn't reach using the rollers. Thus ended our second day.
That night, we went mass shopping. Yayyy.

And we dropped by the other rooms for a while, but stayed mostly in ours. Oh yeah, we stayed in a small apartment thingy, with two rooms and two toilets. I was with Jayne, Yan Ting, Lizzie, Joanne and Sheryl.
The rest of the girls stayed in a huge house-ish place. It was super spacey there, and they had a washing machine too!

We dragged our blankets out and watched TV and pigged out~
It was awesome!

On the third day, we returned to finish up. As I mentioned befre, the girls in the second dorm helped us finish up when we went for lunch break! So it was a pleasant surprise.
Thus we flocked to room 4, and helped with finishing touches. The girls there are extremely talkative, they chatted with us. I could speak their language so it was pretty interesting. They asked a lot of personal questions too, and even talked about Boys Over Flowers.
I was shocked that they actually watched dramas, and they had phones o_o
HAHA.
Looks like our interpretation of the children in the orphanage may not be that accurate.

After we were done with everything, we took a few photos. They took pictures of and with me, bidding me a formal farewell.
I was touched they all knew my name, and embarassed cause I don't know theirs. HAHA. But I do remember how some of them helped me. One of them actually climbed the shelves to help paint the top parts of the wall, knowing I'm heavier.
Another clambered atop a shelf along with me to help hold the palette. And she took great pride in doing that, believing it was an honour to be helping.

They find such joy in the simplest things.

The girls from dorm too dragged us all into the room, to take photos, and to leave these hand prints:

It's incredibly creative of them. And they looked pretty on the light blue paint!

So it was farewell, and then it's back to the hotels.
There was supposed to be a BBQ dinner, but the food ran out. Didn't matter though.
It was nice sitting outside.

The next day at the shopping mall, we mass bought t shirts which were super cheap ($2.90 each).

And thus ends my batam post.

I shall update the Kahang one next time heh.
There's actually a lot to talk about here, because it's an adventure camp. But the pics haven't really been uploaded yet :(
Esp the pictures of the kittens!
They are SO adorable.
On the last night when I slept outside, the black and white one woke me up by crawling underneath my sleeping bag. It fled when I rolled over in schock, but returned with its siblings.
They played around on my sleeping bag, poking lots of holes I'd guess.
Super cute!! They're less than 6 weeks old!

Anyway, I need to pack. whee.

2009-11-22T17:54:00.004+08:00

I'm going Batam tomorrow! Yay!
And guess what, i haven't packed! Haha!
Debby has packed and she's leaving on the 4th of December.
Ugh I think i'm super hopeless. Ah wells.

I've got a packing list ready though. I stole it from my friends, so I don't have to re-think what i need to pack xD
This is gonna be so cool. Heh but I kinda forgot how to speak bahasa already.

I'll be leaving tomorrow, which is 23rd to 26th nov.
Then I'm leaving from 1st to 4th dec for Kahang.
Last one family holiday 9th to 24th dec.
And when I return there'll be a fencing camp on 26th to 29th (i think).
Wao i'll be busy the whole holidays.

You were really just next door.
;]

My Girlfriend Is An Agent

2009-11-17T22:54:00.004+08:00

was awesome!

Plus point, they fence! And it was fencing that helped them kick the bad guy (girl)'s ass.
Yay!
It is a great movie for laughs :)
GO WATCH OR REGRET!

2009-11-15T21:10:00.006+08:00

Okok I'm updating!

First I want to say... today shall be officially called, junk food day! :D

~ picture by ssViolentJ @ deviantart.

I had cup noodles for lunch. Yeah, when I had time to go out and eat properly. I'm bored, yet I'm lazy. What a couch potato!
Had loads of chocolate for snacks.
Had pizza/chicken/garlic bread for dinner.
Had a fizzy drink to top it up.

:)

On Friday, I went with the CJ gang (Yan Ting, Cassandra, Lizzie, Wei Yan, Joanne and David) to Cineleisure to watch 2012!

I think this quote describes it best, of what I feel about the movie:

Roland Emmerich's 2012 provides plenty of visual thrills, but lacks a strong enough script to support its massive scope and inflated length.

Okay, good points:

There were sad parts that were really sad.
Teaches us a lot about humanity, and the corruption of it.
Very impressive visual effects.

Bad points:

I felt sleepy or bored at one part.
I started to reply messages.
It has the same style as The Day After Tomorrow which I fell asleep to. And nope, I completely forgot about them having the same director, until after the movie, where I made the connections.
I just feel there is something small missing.

Conclusion remains. Go watch it if you haven't! :) It'll nevertheless be worth it.

Anyways! I think there are lots of great movies coming up in 2010! Can't wait.

PW IS OVER. Yayness.
I love my PW group mates, even if I hate PW.
I love how we always get distracted when we meet up, by terrapins, crabs, food, chess, minesweeper and bridge.
I love how we slack at the end of each meeting.
I love how we could get along so well.
I love how when OP ended, staying back to play cards together was our means of celebrating.
:)

Oh yeah, results!
Chemistry: C
Chinese: D
GP: B
Econs: C
Lit: C
Maths: B
Current Affairs: D
I NEED TO READ MORE NEWSPAPERS D:

They moderated really a lot. I jumped grades.
I was surprised.

A lot more things happened, but lazy talk about them heh. Anyway there are photos on facebook. Pictures speak thousands of words. They often spare you the agony.
Unless it's a book.

I am bored.
Rotting.
At home.
Boredom.
Only me and my older brother left at home.
And we are rotting.
...
Okay he's not, he's studying. I think I disturb him sometimes.
There's a fly on the yellow pillow.
I'm rotting.
Jack's mom is offering a job as a nurse.
I will kill the patients.
HAHA.
No la I just have no time.
IRONICALLY.

Three times I'm going overseas.
But in the meantime, I am seriously bored!!

To a particular person: I have no idea whatsoever what you are talking about, most of the time. Seriously -.-" And you always say that 'nvm' that makes it sound like I very dense like that, when you're the one being no link!
So everytime we talk i'll just go 'lol' or 'haha' because there is nothing else to say!
If you're lucky I'll say 'okay haha'.
And you're being overbearing sometimes man.

2009-11-01T18:23:00.003+08:00

I have found a 2nd non-asshole-y guy. Hallelujah!
I think only debby knows who this second person is, and she's not supposed to tell! :)
Then again, 路遥知马力，日久见人心。
Translate: only a long distance can determine a horse's strength, similarly only time can tell if a person is good or bad.
Haha! I am so in chinese mood now. I hope I get to spam that phrase/idiom/saying/quote tomorrow!

Alright. According to my teachers, these four chapters haven't come out for 'A' levels.
这里真安静
最后的牛车水
爸爸的花儿落了
孩子，我为什么打你

I hope the second one won't come out. Please please please.

Actually I was planning to pick up some nice writing style by typing out a wonderful cloze passage from my promo paper, which talks about life and how it doesn't always go the way you want to, but then that's how life becomes perfect, because it has its ups and downs.
It was easy to understand and I got full marks. But when i tried typing it out I got stuck because i didn't know many words. HAHA. Pwnage.

Anyway, when I have to guess the answers for the cloze passage, at lest I make clever ones. Heh.

There was this on the news, about a little 6-year-old who died of cancer. After she was diagnosed, the doctor said she only had 125 days to live. She made it past 225. During these days her parents never told her that she was going to die, but she somehow knew, because she made hundreds of notes and hid them around the house. All these notes were simple expressions of love towards her parents and her sister, some with just a page of hearts.
After she died her parents found these notes, and continued searching for over a year. now they have three huge boxes filled with them.

Such a simple gesture, yet it can show so much.
She's way more matured than her own age, it's like she understands everything yet remains cheerful, wanting to tell her fmaily that it's going to be alright, she'll continue watching over them.
6 years old!
In all the photos she looked like such a happy and sweet girl, it's saddening. She would've grown up to be a wonderful person, with that pure heart.

:]

Good luck for Chinese 'A' Levels everyone! And PW. boo.
And I agree that girls are like pokemon. Go search that on youtube, it makes sense!

2009-10-29T22:15:00.004+08:00

I think Debby says it best. To quote from her:

Whatever will be, will be. Anything that concerns my heart, I'm going to just leave it be. If things are meant to be mine, they will be, in due time.
I'm going to put everything in God's hands.

:)

Ahh today was J1 end of year ceremony.
Brother Paul is leaving. :( He's a great principal, FSV showed that best in the incredible videos they made.
He's almost always among the students, interacting with them.. or dancing with the teachers.
He treated us as friends and showed us respect. In return, we do the same.
Little wonders that go a long way (:

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

...

He is sweet! :]
In a friend manner la.
Why am I mentioning this? Because yay, I have found another non asshole-y guy. whoopdedoo.

2009-10-27T15:48:00.003+08:00

Promo results are out.

Some day today was. You could feel the tension in the LTs, it made me worried even when I was initially calm. It's like 'O' Levels results all over again!
When the GP paper first returned to us yesterday, I was still like in a high-ish mood. But halfway through today I was kinda like zoned out, esp during econs. Haha. Like don't know whether to be happy or not, after all the excitement/non-excitement going on around me. Lots of distraught faces, I honestly don't know what to say to them, especially when they're sitting next to me. Like what? Tell them it's okay? It's not. I know it wasn't, and if I ask if they're okay it's obvious they're not.
So I'll just stone and give a somewhat silent moral support.

I basically passed everything.
:) So proud of myself.

So anyway, here were my raw results, not counting mid-years:
GP: B
Maths: B
Econs: D
Lit: D
Chem: D
Chinese: D

HAHA. Actually when you look at it they weren't very good results. So many Ds. But when I looked at other people, at least the ones in my class, I didn't have the right to complain, though I think I might have unconsciously.
Not intentional though.
I'm really glad this time not only because i can promote, but also because I've had personal achievements.

Proving Ms Z wrong by scoring above 30 out of 50 for the 'killer' essay question. She said initially, "How DARE anyone do this question!?" And I got B overall man.
Jumping five grades for maths, from 26 in mid-years to 67.5/100. It is not impossible, if I decide to take it seriously. Plus it's a high B, so even when that 26/100 pulls it down by 8 marks, I get to keep my B!
Passing chem even though I studied last minute. Yeah I know it's H1, but I really thought I'd screw it up. Since I'm given the chance, i'll properly study chem this time :]
Didn't give up.

HAHA, Chem is damn funny okay. I was lucky in my MCQ somewhat, with 21/30. Section B screwed up, 6/20, because I didn't study enthalpy change hahaha.
In the class, there was only one B, one C, about two Ds, and everything else below. So basically means I'm the third or fourth highest. Haha!
But then I know our class didn't really bother about chem. It was the last exam, it's H1, it's CHEM, and we only had one day. So when everyone got back generally they were quite adamant.

2009-10-23T21:18:00.018+08:00

:(
So many deaths recently.
Life is too short.

------

Video Jack introduced. Haha! It IS possible to do something fun in Singapore.

Omgoose, PW. PWPWPWPW.
what the hell is I&R about??
I have to rush my OP part by tonight, gonna have a rehearsal tomorrow at David's house!
Yay, David's house!
We've gone there twice already, once long time ago, another yesterday.
He has a huge pond with huge fishes, 11 (or 12) terrapins, a tiny CRAB! and a cupboard full of food.
It was fun/slack-ish yesterday. We were painting and building the model for our O.P.
And we played many many games of Bridge! Omg I'm sadly addicted to that card game.

epicute.com
random pic, hahaha. it is a cake.

Promo results out next week. Ee.
So far there were news though. Both good and bad. I have kinda like, no comment. Just hoping for the best.

Free-fencing at FM on Thursday! Anyway, this time there was me, Monisha, Nicole, Annabel and Wei Ping. Gerard turned up as promised, to help to guide us.
It was more fruitful, because he really sat down with me to tell me specifically my mistakes, and what to correct.
We left FM at like, what... 10.30pm?
Reached home at 12 plus. Tired man.

NOW my arms are starting to ache from that free-fencing.
And I'm beginning to see the multiple bruises from being poked.
6 bruises, 2 cuts. still counting.
o_o

I love the lyrics of the song New Perspective by Panic! At The Disco!
Here are some lines:

There's a haze above my TV
That changes everything I see
And maybe if I continue watching
I'll lose the traits that worry me

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time
We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine
And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines
But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside

So, I've been telling Debby.
I shalt take attraction with a pinch of salt. It is fatal.

OH, and I realized my hp could organize my inbox according to contacts!
The top few people I receive messages from are...
Debby: 2223 messages
Leong Yew: 1405 smses
Shi Ting: 555 smses
Ruo Nan: 456 smses
etc.
HAHA. Yes, I entertain myself with these things.
When I'm supposed to be doing PW.

2009-10-20T20:52:00.006+08:00

What are the chances of finding a guy who knows you so well, yet still likes you just because it's you?
How can anyone feel sad knowing they have someone like that in their lives?

Search me.
But I know that letting go definitely lets you see things in a new perspective.
Haha this so reminds me of that song by Panic! At the Disco.

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective

I does not want to do PW.
I does not want to study for Chinese 'A' Levels.
But for all the above, 'tis not possible. Boo.

:)

2009-10-19T20:46:00.010+08:00

Rollerblading nearly took my life!
Ice-skating is so much easier! Maybe because I started ice-skating earlier and I've not rollerbladed in 8 years...
But w.e man, hahaha. It's a traumatic experience, sort of.
But it's not quite as bad as cramps. Yeah random, I had them today and had to leave earlier from PW meeting. Sorry guys! D:

Yep, went with Jack, Leong Yew, Debby and Shi Ting to east coast park. It was $15 for three hours.

Some weirdo took a pic of me and Debby while we were blading. I didn't even notice, was too concerned with my life. HAHA.
I haven't seen the gang for so long. Miss them.
Ruo Nan smsed me at night saying she returned from HK. A bit too late right, hahah.
Bryant had camp D: He has ass abrasion. Why am I announcing this? Am I even allowed to?
Lol.

I don't have blisters!
Miracle. Thanks to ST's socks, I think.

Today, I went for PW meeting.
But I had cramps halfway, as mentioned before.
Crawled home in torture, took pills the moment i reached home.
Slept for about an hour.
Woke up feeling much much better. Pain gone!
Then I went to accompany my mom on her RSVP thing at some Meritus Mandarin hotel. It's supposed to be some company thingy, they invite a number of companies over for this thingy.
It starts at 2pm, we came at 4pm. HAHA EPIC.

We went there and just took the food and stood in a corner being loners. Hahahaha.
There wasn't much to do anyway, for me that is. It's just the food that inspired me to come.
We were supposed to go to at least 6 out of 8 booths to talk with different hotel owners, but we didn't. Lazy.
So we couldn't qualify for some lucky draw thing.
My mom was soaking in the joy of realizing many people were older than her, while I shockingly realized nobody was younger than me. Not really shocking actually.
So I pretended to be some dignified successor to my mom but obviously didn't work, I think I took too much food.

At least we get goody bags.

Ugly truth: guys don't always mean what they say. nice to hear, not always nice to believe.
:]

I like this song that's playing at the moment [Future Love by Varsity], it's positive!

You're so far away
Maybe you're right next door
Got me picturing your face again
Something worth waiting for
I put all the others behind me
They don't live up
I know what I want
What I need, to the T

Baby if they ask me, I would say
I don't even know your name
And when they ask me, 'Does it change? '
No it don't change a thing
Cause there's something about the way you love me
There's just something about the way you know me
And I can't explain enough
Just something about our future love

2009-10-17T20:27:00.003+08:00

I shall make a list of all the injuries I am suffering right now.

Sore right hip - smashed into the chair while leaping/running around the house. i was too happy that promos are over, and was on my way to the kitchen to get chocolate.
Hurt left hip which doesn't hurt anymore - hit a corner shelf thing while strolling along. I literally bounced away and the cashier looked at me strangely.
A whole sore arm - free-fencing on thursday. (got thrashed once, damn.)
Sore legs which recovered yesterday - free-fencing.
A bruise some distance below my neck - got poked while fencing.
A bruise on the side of my knee - poked.

Wewt. I'm positive there are more tiny bruises though, i was poked 15x3 times.

And tomorrow, I predict I will have blisters from rollerblading.
But I shall be positive that I shall not fall down so I shall not have any scratches.

Can't remember what to update. Hmm.

yay!

2009-10-14T20:57:00.004+08:00

omg so nice! It is so perfect for Halloween, I'm willing and able to pay $14 for this, hahaha. This is econs, I tell you.

Oh she, she so international
The way, the way she get it on the floor
I'm tryin', I'm tryin' to holler at you
I want to get to know you better

Parlez vous francais?
Konichiwa
Come and move in my way
Hey, little chica from Guadeloupe
That thing you got behind you is amazing

Now I don't speak Spanish, Japanese or French
But the way that body's talkin' definitely makes sense
It's her, her body, her body, her body language
It's her, her body, her body, her body language

OMG I can't believe I can't get this song out of my head!
When I first heard it I thought it was just another lame sexual-ish song.
But the lyrics are kinda original and they even have a french line!
Catchy tune too, it stuck to me after I accidentally heard it a few more times on radio.
Wheeeeee.
ANd I saw the video and was relieved it was nothing like the one in Leavin'.

Anyway Promos are OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Sho, promos were fine until today, the chemistry paper nearly killed me.
Maybe it's because it's H1 and the second last paper so I was lazy to study.
Ah well, over already.
Now time to slack. Lots and lots of time to slack.

During promos itself, I got hooked on to the TV.
I self-introduced myself to The Nanny, Married with Children, According to Jim, and a couple more I can't remember.
HAHA powerpuff girls z too.
And I watched two classic disney movies, Mulan and Aladdin!
They were awesome (duh!) and Aladdin's still amazingly hot. And he's a cartoon character! Disney is awesome isn't it.

I liked how everything falls together (very accidentally) in place, with Mulan, Mushu and the cricket's clumsy ways.
And I loved the Genie in Aladdin, not to mention the 'A Whole New World' scene.
Here's a clip of genie, when he first met Aladdin:

The last part when he said "in case of emergencies, the exits are here, they're here they're here they're here..." i totally cracked up.
He is so fast and random.

I felt so happy after watching each of them. It's a good break from studying man.

I told my brother a few days ago, that I tried my best to try my best.
Doesn't it make sense?
Like you bring your whole bunch of notes while going out for dinner. The fact that you're bringing it shows your attempt.
But you don't end up reading anything at all, so basically you did not try your best.
But you tried to try your best.
Get it?
:D

Here's why Shi Ting is evil:
Me: MY LIGHT'S GONNA EXPLODE! IT'S FLICKERING!
Shi Ting: YAY AWESOME

See what I meant?

Faith.

2009-10-06T22:23:00.008+08:00

ROME – Scientists have reproduced the Shroud of Turin _ revered as the cloth
that covered Jesus in the tomb _ and say the experiment proves the relic was
man-made, a group of Italian debunkers claimed Monday.

The shroud bears the figure of a crucified man, complete with blood seeping out of nailed hands and feet, and believers say Christ's image was recorded on the linen fibers at the time of his resurrection.

Scientists have reproduced the shroud using materials and methods that were available in the 14th century... this is further evidence the shroud is a medieval forgery.

screw you scientists.

... experts couldn't explain how the faint brown discoloration was produced,
imprinting on the cloth a negative image centuries before the invention of
photography.

Many still believe that the shroud "has unexplainable characteristics that cannot be reproduced by human means," lead scientist Luigi Garlaschelli said.

told ya.

The Catholic Church makes no claims about the relic's authenticity, but says it is a powerful symbol of Christ's suffering.

-nods-

Another study, by the Hebrew University, concluded that pollen and plant images
on the shroud showed it originated in the area around Jerusalem sometime before
the eighth century... "They won't give up," he said. "Those who believe in it will continue to believe."

Yeap. So stop all those researching and re-producing the cloth to prove that it's fake!
The world's not all about science and logical, rational things.

Talking about the face of jesus, here's one photo I saw on flickr.

Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe He is always among us. You never really know.

Lit P1 exam over! I still want to quote a couple of parts from the book though:

"You teach me how cruel you've been--cruel and false. Why did you despise me? Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? ... You loved me--then what right had you to leave me? What right--answer me--for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery, and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart--you have broken it--and in breaking it, you have broken mine."

- Heathcliff

"If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the Universe would turn to a mighty stranger. I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woords. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees--my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath--a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff--he's always, always in my mind--not as a pleasure, but as my own being."

- Catherine

Stephanie Meyer, Wuthering Heights is not not a love story, thanks very much.

As much as it is a hate story, it is a love story. Period.

And to those people who published the Twilight inspired cover for WH, my goose.

Please do not associate WH with vampires, they are different things altogether.

Even if you want to, do it properly and not make it seem like a knockoff from Twilight!

More people will be reading Wuthering Heights, but for the wrong reason! Because they think Edward is hot.

It irks me how people see WH and they go, "Oh! That's the book from Twilight!"

...

What IS with the font!? AND the stamp that says: "Bella and Edward's favourite book."

I rest my case now.

心的伤害有一些不要紧

我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧

唱什么歌哄她开心?

- 半青歌 Fated to Love You soundtrack.

2009-10-06T00:18:00.003+08:00

Weird creep guy who added me on Facebook, is 'married', and has been adding only young indonesian girls as his friends.
And he posted on my wall only. Great.
And I replied because it's only polite to do so.
Ugh I hope he's not some perv. If my dad knew I've been accepting random weirdos he'd slaughter me.

Omgoose, promos are here!!!
However, it is 8 days to freeeeeeedom~

2009-10-02T23:43:00.003+08:00

I hate to be cynical, but I have fears about this thing, hopefully they are empty fears.
Would it be better to tell them to him, or to give him a chance to make it work?
Ugh this is frustrating, and it's not even about me.

Omg.

Then again must praise his courage and decisiveness.

2009-09-30T23:19:00.003+08:00

Shyt, earthquake in Jakarta again.
I didn't feel any tremor here - if there was I prolly slept through it.

2009-09-28T21:41:00.007+08:00

I'm confused.
And in shock!

Anyway, while I was still registering a piece of info that might be true or false, I sought Gerard, my fencing captain.
But I spammed him a lot recently yay.
He sent me the link to this vid:

HAHA. It's supposed to make me unshock.

pwned.

2009-09-26T01:29:00.008+08:00

"But the most important aspect of this cake [...] is the fact that it’s frosted in white buttercream. Why? Because the smooth white exterior makes the cake look completely normal, but once you slice into it you realize… OH SNAP! THIS CAKE IS CRAZY!

And then it all makes sense."
Picture copyrighted to whisk-kid.blogspot.com

Life is full of surprises.
Embrace it :]

Wheeee I feel like eating that cake nao.
YAY my parents are back, with loads of stuff and pictures. Love them.

2009-09-21T21:43:00.005+08:00

Wheee the weekend has been slack for me!
This shall be my last post, then I'll go on hiatus!
God knows if I'll keep it this time.
I took a break that I probably needed, after this is mug mug mug.

Oh yeah random. I suddenly remembered this encounter I had with a HK man.
He didn't know how he added me on MSN so he asked if I knew him.
After which, to keep the conv going, he asked me about the weather.
The weather! The next worst thing to talk about besides politics.
Then he asked if I'm in university.
I said no, took away my DP which at that time was my pic, and deleted him from MSN.
Haha.
Wheeee. Random experience.

Ruo Nan came over yesterday! :D
It's extremely rare because she lives in Seng Kang which is the other world, but she happens to be in that area so she dropped by to ~~steal food~~ visit.
And then she accompanied me to look for those school shoes I wanted, but most of the stores were closed because it was Hari Raya.

So we just walked around talking and visiting the cats at the place Ruo Nan used to live.
I took many photos, I'll upload them after promos yay.
I swear those cats understand us perfectly. When I took out my phone to take photos:
- The tabby and white one (which reminded me greatly of Mino in Women in Love) rolled over to pose.
- The tabby-tortie and white one woke up then deliberately slept again in the cute way it was sleeping before.
- The ginger one laid down.
- The very pretty tortoiseshell cat stood up and flexed its claws.

Intelligent creatures, they are.

So, we didn't find those shoes.
After that Ruo Nan offered to buy the $10 pair at her house there and drop by the next day, which is today, to pass it to me.
I'm really grateful at that offer, because it's verrry far from her new house to mine.
Here's a true friend indeed :]
So it didn't matter at all when she couldn't find it eventually.
Haha.
I still remember the first time we knew each other, I thought she was weird (not in a bad way). Hehe.
But see! We still became besties!

Anyway, to honour her, I shall post a snippet of how she spams people.
This is what she sent me through Restaurant City on Facebook.

"WEIRDO! Why did you announce that you're looking for ingredients if you didn't leave anything unlocked to trade with?"
"Wait! Don't accept my chocolate request! And I had no idea you can trade locked ingredients... o-o Now i'm gonna go lock everything."
-here i replied-
"-screams in terror- Shall trade the chocolate back~"
"Wash your toilet zomg."
"Heeeeeey it's washed. omg"
"but...but a moment ago, it was all....-confuzed-"
"Oh wellz. laalala"

2009-09-15T23:50:00.002+08:00

I swear Jack's like a stand-in brother or boyfriend.
Maybe scratch the boyfriend part. Shi Ting will probably freak!
But thanks Jacqueline :D
However you spell that name.

2009-09-15T15:58:00.003+08:00

I CAN'T connect with some people in 1T09, I won't be subtle about it.
I know there are a couple who are generally annoyed at me for just being me.
They find my presence unnecessary and if possible, I should not be paid any attention to.
And nothing will probably change if I don't exist, if not for the better.
Sometimes I just sit there doing nothing and I feel it.
That dreaded, gut feeling.
I know I'm not pretty, or interesting, or popular, or pleasant enough.
And the more I try to get everyone to accept me, it feels so fake I can't STAND it myself.
So you know what?

Whatever.
:)
I want my existence to make others' lives better, but ultimately, I live for me and not for others. Don't like me?
Too bad then, get over it.
I know there will be friends who'll always appreciate me just as I am. I'm grateful to them.
and that's enough.

Time to go mug now, haha. Maths maths maths maths.
I'm not emo-ing, I actually feel pretty good now.

2009-09-14T00:47:00.007+08:00

Here are some things I can recall that I accomplished during the holidays!:

1. Done the econs essay
2. Re-did the literature essay
3. Finished Integration II tutorial
4. More or less did the Chem bonding tutorial
5. Read a few paragraphs for the GP AQ before giving up
6. Picked up the chinese book and put it down again.
7. Put up a whole bunch of post-it notes with encouragements/to-do-lists that I will actually hardly pay attention to.
8. Downloaded songs.
9. Vomitted.
10. Messed up my table horrendously.
11. Listened to 987FM.
12. Tried a few qns from ACJC maths prelim paper, gave up, tried a few qns from last year's CJ promo exam.
13. Ran twice.
14. Swam once.
15. Combed my hair.
16. Read WIL.
17. Hoped to break up with a guy in the future with this line: "It's not me, it's you."
Inspired by Lily Allen's album, which Debby introduced. Woot.

Wow my life is so interesting. Not.
School time once more! At least we are dismissed at 1/2pm everyday! No extra lessons please.
Mugging resumes once more.
Good luck for Promos, folks.

Women's roles in society

2009-09-12T16:39:00.003+08:00

'Tis 4:36pm and I have officially done nothing productive today!
And the promos are exactly 23 days away.
Omg I should stop counting down, it becomes scarier.

But then you can't blame me. I woke up finding out my bloody period (pun intended) has come, so I felt very sian and slacked around. After about an hour I returned to my room, with the mindset of finishing that lit essay on women's roles in society (bloody periods, i should add that in.), but the bed beckons.
So I woke up 2 hours later at 1.20pm, and effing cramps stopped me from doing ANYTHING.
At first it was okay, then it became more painful so I stayed home while everybody else went out.

Normally my cramps are tolerably painful, but today's one was really shit. Hahaha.
Thankfully the house was empty because sometimes it hurt so much I kept getting woken up. Which was horrible because I wanted to sleep to forget the pain, but apparently I couldn't.
So I just drifted along like some half-dead person, sometimes getting up and walking around and eating a strawberry.
I also felt this feverish feeling, hot one moment, cold and shivering about three seconds later. Literally.
So I went about cursing about how guys didn't have to go through this.

Then I went out to eat a tomato. I don't know why. It was my sub-conscious!
The tomato made me vomit, which was random and unrelated to the cramps!?
Because I very rarely vomit, I had a flitting thought that I was pregnant. HAHHAA.
Which was really stupid, because half a minute later I remembered i was having my period.
Epic.

But nobody can think rationally in such a situation k!

Anyway, just a while ago my mom returned with Panadol pills. Hallelujah, thank God for Panadol. Thank God for Science and chemistry.
So now I'm fine, and here online narrating the story of my life.

But now, I'm gonna go and do Chemistry. After all, Science saved my life.

This is such a biological post. Haha.

Omfg, my mom and my brothers went to hang out at the my mom's staffs' new apartment! Yep, her staff, because it's a company that she and my dad 'own'. It seems to be growing steadily and earning supernormal profit (econs!), but they're planning to sell their shares soon. I think they know that the three of us would just destroy it if it falls on our hands.
HAHA. I'm sidetracking.
Back to the point.
My mom's going shopping, and my brothers are staying at the new place to study while waiting for the furniture to arrive.
I'm so jealous, I also want to go there to study!
Or accompany my mom shopping.
Anything but staying at home.
UGH.

I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE.
I must have thrown it to some ulu corner in my sub-conscious state.

2009-09-12T00:19:00.003+08:00

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson

2009-09-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

The holidays have started. (what holiday?)
I've been doing my best not to slack, but yeah, old habits die hard :D
BUT, I've been doing a little of work here and there, but Integration truly pissed me off earlier today.
Met Debby at West Mall and ate lunch, before coming over to my house to do my work.
Halfway I fell asleep on my sofa, which is about to be taken away in a few hours time.
T-T

Productive or not, I can't say.
But we certainly didn't talk! Which is seriously AMAZING hahahaha.
I think we genuinely focused until I turned on the TV at the end part.

But, I went out with the ESP gang yesterday! Wewt.
We went to watch The Time Traveler's Wife.
Well, I think the plotline's creative, I like the writer's interpretation of time travelling.
Though if you think too deeply it becomes really confusing. Really really confusing.
Time has always been confusing though.
I can't BLAME the movie for anything, because it's impossible to crush one whole book into two hours of a movie. So, thou shalt not criticize the movie.

But I do want to read the book :)

OH, and on Saturday, my parents went to stay at St. Regis hotel because they had some free two nights stay thing.
We went to visit them, and the hotel was AWESOME. From the outside it looks like the usual five-star hotel, but I was surprised to see the inside decor so.. European!
The room was AMAZING. Period.
You can soak in the bathtub, eat, and watch TV at the same time in the bathroom. Pity I didn't get to try that.
I even loved the lamp, it was just pretty!
Plus the curtains can be drawn with a control button. Fascinating.

The room was very European-style based. I like.

And it wasn't even some suite room or anything haha.

their hotel service was good too.

2009-09-06T23:10:00.001+08:00

So sorry for apologizing and hurting your ego, dear boy.

I honestly do NOT feel guilty though.
In fact I feel very MWAHAHA O.O
WHEN HAVE I LEARNT TO BE MEAN TO ASSHOLES?

OH NOES.

I bet only Debby understands what the heck I'm talking about.
:D

2009-09-03T20:14:00.007+08:00

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

by Christinna Rossetti

This Is A Photograph Of Me

It was taken some time ago.
At first it seems to be
a smeared
print: blurred lines and grey flecks
blended with the paper;

then, as you scan
it, you see in the left-hand corner
a thing that is like a branch: part of a tree
(balsam or spruce) emerging
and, to the right, halfway up
what ought to be a gentle
slope, a small frame house.

In the background there is a lake,
And beyond that, some low hills.

(The photograph was taken
the day after I drowned.

I am in the lake, in the center
of the picture, just under the surface.

It is difficult to say where
precisely, or to say
how large or small I am:
the effect of water
on light is a distortion

but if you look long enough,
eventually
you will be able to see me.)

by Margaret Atwood

Zeroing In

"I am a landscape," he said.
"a landscape and a person walking in that landscape.
There are daunting cliffs there,
And plains glad in their way
of brown monotony. But especially
there are sinkholes, places
of sudden terror, of small circumference
and malevolent depths."
"I know," she said. "When I set forth
to walk in myself, as it might be
on a fine afternoon, forgetting,
sooner of later I come to where sedge
and clumps of white flowers, rue perhaps,
mark the bogland, and I know
there are quagmires there that can pull you
down, and sink you in bubbling mud."
"We had an old dog," he told her. "when I was a boy,
a good dog, friendly. But there was an injured spot
on his head. if you happened
just to touch it he'd jump up yelping
and bite you. He bit a young child,
they had to take him down to the vet's and destroy him."
"No one knows where it is," she said.
"and even by accident no one touches it.
It's inside my landscape, and only I, making my way
preoccupied through my life, crossing my hills,
sleeping on green moss of my own woods,
I myself without warning touch it,
and leap up at myself-"
"-or flinch back
just in time."
"Yes, we learn that.
It's not a terror, it's pain we're talking about:
those places in us, like your dog's bruised head,
that are bruised forever, that time
never assuages, never."

by Denise Levertov

Those three poems were those that left a greater impact on me :D
First one made Sofia cry, it was really sad. I guess a lot of people can relate to it, that's why. Most girls anyway, the poem sounds feminine.
Second one is morbid and is supposed to give you goosebumps. We all agreed it sounds like it's written by a girl, and someone commented it's because girls are more psychotic. EE.
I found the third one sad in a very unique way, and reminded me of Vinod and Saloma and Off-Centre. I know it's really long-ish but if you're patient enough to read it, it really is a fine piece of art :)

Now, I shall be off and obediently study for my econs test.

2009-09-03T20:14:00.000+08:00

hello

2009-09-01T22:58:00.001+08:00

I just checked my inbox and realized I had 4721 messages!
Oh my goose.
And this was since 31st March, so approximately I receive 944 messages per month, which is about 236 messages per week, which is about 34 messages per day!
Oh my sock. No wonder my dad scolded me for the phone bills!
But now I has unlimited smses! I remember last year when I could only send 500 messages per month, and I started counting to make sure I sent 16 messages MAX per day! Haha.
Then ML came along and my sms count spiked.
Then slowly it returned to normal.
Then this year I didn't give a damn and started over-smsing hahaa.

Now I'm wasting my time deciding if i should just delete everything or delete selectively which would take DAYS.
I totally has ADD. Wewt.

"I wish I saved all the tears I cried for you so I could fucking drown you in them."
HAHA EPIC.

What i've done

2009-08-31T23:03:00.006+08:00

~ varita

Time for a long update!

26th August:
I went out with the fencing gang to watch The Proposal! There were 11 of us: Caleb, Nicole, Priscilla, Wen Rui, Kenneth, Grace, Niko, Daphne, Dominic and Tudor. And me yay. Initial plan was to have brunch, but suddenly the idea of a movie popped up.

So we headed to Plaza Sing, after finding out that that's the only place with the movie at 11.20am! We made a lot of noise on the bus, they're probably gonna sue us.
Not that it really bothers me... anyway, we all rushed to get the tickets. It was already 11.20am, but we had 15 minutes before the movie really starts. Thus, we split up and went to buy our lunch!
Caleb, Nicole, Priscilla and me went to Burger King. Surprisingly I could stuff the lunch set into my bag o.o
Everyone of us sneaked food in.
We got caught, FYI. By this lady who said she could smell our food -.-" I think it's just that Tudor was eating a six-inch long subway sandwich, and Niko and Daphne were eating rice!

The Proposal was freaking awesome! :D I have to agree their love was not developed enough, but the movie was highly entertaining! Good mixture of romance and comedy.
Here's a quote:

Margaret: I am not getting in that boat!
Andrew: Fine, see you in three days.
Margaret: You know I can't swim!
Andrew: Hence... the *boat*.

It was hilarious, i don't really give a shit about what the reviewers think! Honestly the movie is just meant to touch your hearts and make you LOL like nobody's business. Talking about that, I sat in between Wen Rui and Caleb. Wen Rui was relatively quiet throughout, while Caleb kept laughing and making comments.
Two different worlds.

Afterwards, we made up some excuse about the bus breaking down, because we were late for training! We even called Justin to tell him that. The coach wanted photo proof. It was so obvious that we were lying!

I'll miss the fencing peeps. Will only be seeing all of them again in November ._.

After training, I rushed to meet ST and we went to visit Debby to surprise her! But we failed! At first we got the unit number wrong and got lost -.-" But when we finally found the correct door, she wasn't in! :( So we had to pass the present to her mom.
The present was a bikini. Ftw.

Random: guys may be simple-minded, but they certainly confuse me.

Moving on!

29th August:
the Picnic Gang except LY went to the beach! Yayness!
It was a belated celebration for Debby! She wore her bikini!
We met lots of pervs there when we (me, debbs, st) took a walk. I rolled my eyes at one of the guys, and Debby wanted to flash her camera at another one. She's the one attracting the most attention!
Ruo Nan left halfway boo.

SIDENOTE: I want to give Ruo Nan a super belated thanks for helping me with my GP essay! :) HAha. You rock.
Oh, and my brother, for looking out for me :)

31st August:
I pon-ed school today, so that I could return to BBSS.
Went to 'consult' doctor, and ended up paying a consultation fee of $14 plus $4.20 worth of medicine I didn't need! That's when I remembered that being a non-singaporean, I don't have the privilege of getting these services cheap.
FML.
So I returned home and received a brief scolding from my mom. After that things went back to normal, she just warned me to never do it again, complained that I should've faked cold because she needed cold medicine, and said after I finish paying the bill (i could only pay 10 bucks first), I should hand her the recipe so she can try to claim from the company. HAHA. I know she isn't that mad at me because she knows I know that she knows that I know that my dad knows that she knows that I know that when she was young, she's played truancy before. And my dad was a bad boy too, so he forgave me quickly.
Budden later that day, I reflected on all the wrong things I did today. Wrong things I did for reasons I deem to be right.
It certainly wasn't a wise decision, the consequence was more bad than good. Like, abandoning my PW group =/ I FEEL SO GUILT-WRECKED. But for that while, I seem to have followed my heart and lived my life the way I wanted it to be, living in the moment. :)

Can you do the same?
I don't think so.

Of course, I still will NEVER pon school again!!
In any case, it was good to see old friends! Mr Lattif was so mild about me skipping shcool, he said as long as my parents know it's perfectly fine. HAHA HE ROCKS RIGHT.
Regretfully I had to tell Mdm Yeo I got U for maths. Her expression was priceless, as usual :)

I know this post sounds super rushed and mundane! I'll try to edit some other time. -poofs-

what shall be the title?

2009-08-23T12:04:00.004+08:00

Yesterday's J1 Retreat was... long. 14 hours of reflection! My legs nearly died from sitting almost non-stop for 13 hours (1 hour for lunch+dinner).
But I guess I did learn a couple of stuff. Such as, if you want to be patient, God doesn't make you so, he gives you the OPPORTUNITY to be patient.
That one was memorable. The rest are kind of vague, lol.
They had these envelopes for everyone to pin up on the notice board, to allow others to leave 'mail', little messages of love.
And it was fun because some of us went around being good Samaritans and looking for envelopes with barely nothing inside. We found one with nothing at all D: so we dropped a couple of notes.

And this is where I learnt a personal lesson on my own, besides being kind.
See, when I took back my envelope, there was this stalker-ish message that goes: "I've always been looking at you. xoxo"
Somehow, I think people would be more willing to believe that he cockeyed and put it in the wrong envelope (bcos the one beside mine belongs to a pretty girl, and we saw a bunch of guys gather at one point to leave notes), or that he meant it for fun like, just writing random messages and leaving them at random envelopes.
They'd rather believe that than think that it was genuinely meant for me.
It doesn't take a lot of people for me to know they'd think that way, just one or two was enough.
And I realize that, I can't blame them AT ALL, because fact is, I was the first to think that way.
And because of that, I had two realizations yesterday:

1. I have no confidence in myself at all. Then how can I expect people to be confident of me? No one is allowed to make me feel inferior, that's like an official human right or something, haha. Yet I let that happen. Why?
Most of the time too, the other party is actually really nice - applicable to this case :) So that I'm the one putting myself down. And that's the absolute worst form of inferiority, when it comes from yourself.
If I want people to respect me, I better respect myself.

2. This particular guy I've known for more than two years. He had said a lot a lot of nice things, simple ones like, "You're pretty." or "You're special." and I might not have believed it then, but I know he really meant them, and he never wanted me to change for anything or anyone. It was just nice to know there's someone besides God who'll always think that you're beautiful.
But 'always' is over now, I guess.
I'm not going to say my decision was wrong, but I do feel bad for whatever I've said.
And I do miss him, at least, just as a friend.

Anyways, haha, something funny happened during fencing on Friday.
Me and Carissa lied and completely tricked Niko, confused Monisha and nearly tricked Soong Teck, by saying we were from 1T28. Caleb's class, and that we took BCME combination.
Such is the power of persistence, that Niko began to believe she saw me during her H2 chem lecture, Soong Teck believed he saw the wrong person during his lit lecture, and Monisha really thought I didn't take lit.
And Carissa is awesome at lying, I just had to look at her for two seconds and she knew instantly wht to do. Hahaha.
Soong Teck was horrified that we were such awesome liars, and decided to find out everyone's classes first.
Annabel said she's from 1T35 and he trusted her, then he asked Niko if she's from 1T32 and she was like nuuuu that's Annabel's class! Then he got horrified all over again but after that found out Niko made a msitake.

He never wanted to trust girls again after that two incidents.
He thinks we are scary creatures.
:D

Few days back Caleb sent me a World Stealing day sms, and it was so random and funny.
It's like if you could steal something from that person, what would you steal?
Lol.

the perfect rose

2009-08-15T22:48:00.004+08:00

I un-autoplayed the mixpod playlist to put this video!
It doesn't matter if you're going to bother to watch, I just feel better putting it here. It's an awesome Mediacorp production, I remember it from 2005. And they're re-running it now, YAY.
I loved the series. A large part of it would probably be credited to the chemistry between Meiman and Raymond, it's really quite amazing. And Meiman is not even a Singaporean actress, haha.
I was ranting about it to Ruo Nan just now heh.
Plus, for some reasons I was impressed with the first part of the video, before the chorus. It was well put together.
Hahaha I'm like praising Singapore. And Hong Kong.

I REALLY NEED TO STUDY :(

Today, Jack told me that he wanted to walk his turtle.
After that he ranted to me about vending machines that sell pads.
FML?

Anyways, I've been slacking SO MUCH. SHIT. AND I have a fencing theory test on idunnowhen, since I have that J1 Retreat for Catholics on Saturday.
I need to pass this test .___.
But it's like... 69 pages long! But that includes content page and sabre/foil stuff that I don't have to study, haha, but still. It'll still amount to at least 40 pages that I need to study.
Sighs.

I don't think we have homework right? Do we?
Even so I really really REALLY need to study. All the tests I've been doing last week have been done really badly.
I kinda feel the pressure and panic that there's only 50 days left to promos, but somehow... i'm not doing anything about it.
I really need to find a source of inspiration man.
AND, I need to do well for the fencing competition end of year. I need to find a way not to panic and get all excited or whatshit, and then lose all the points.

I've decided not to try so hard to make people approve of me. Fact is, I can't make everyone do so. i'm not very nice or anything, and i don't have any extreme talent or whatever. So what?
Appreciate those who like me anyway, and move on from those who can't.
Seriously, haha. Need to stop being un-myself, I find that I do that sometimes. It's tiring.

Back to Jack's turtle.
After that comment he said he once let the turtle out and it got lost. HAHA SO CUTE.
And he started describing the way it walked in its flippers.
Hahaha the turtle is really nice, it waves at me when i look at it!

Heh, sorry for the boring post. Nothing much to say. It's mostly to vent out whatever I'm feeling.
still annoyed at myself for slacking too much.
What's new?

...

I think that, his gaze is kind of amazing.

2009-08-10T00:19:00.004+08:00

Omg!
I had no idea Bennie was a romantic guy! HAHAHAHA.
Sandwiches and cookies and sweet moments!
WEWT.
He spent a few hours telling me about a lot of interesting stuff about his past that made me go O.O and about a girl he currently likes! Which he doesn't want to tell who.
So random can. Out of nowhere.
Just... omg. Haha.

For some reason him telling me all this is reminding me a lot about how I met LY!
When we first became friends, he told me a lot of stuff about someone. And that was how we became closer friends.

Irony.

Omg the dejavu o_o
Bennie sounds so similar to LY when he tells me a whole bunch of emotional stuff all of a sudden. So similar to him!
really really really you are, bennie.
:D

I has 8 packets of chocolate in the fridge that I'm trying to finish off haha.
But there are three which are milk chocolates and I don't think I can finish those.
Haha I'm being so random.

Oh by the way, Happy belated National Day! :)

2009-08-08T00:58:00.007+08:00

Firstly, I want that urban guy! :D -nudges lizzie and cass-

My mother told me yesterday about the sms she received which I received a long time ago, lousy her! Hahaha.
On seventh of august, which was yesterday, at 12:34:56, the time and date would be 123456789.
It will only happen once in your whole life!
And she said, so what?
At that moment, on 6th August 2009, 8:13:10pm, it also would only happen only once!
Omg, she finally says something I can completely agree on.

WHY ARE WE NOT CHERISHING EVERY MOMENT THEN?
SINCE THEY ONLY HAPPEN ONCE IN YOUR LIFETIME?
haha.
You want a reason why you should treasure every moment of your life?
There you have it.
Because everyone of them is unique to its own, and it won't ever happen again once it's past.
Which also led me to ponder over how transient life is.
And how fast time passes.
Many moments have passed as I'm typing this lol.

Ahh.
I think I think too much.

Today was NDP celebrations.
I admit I was disappointed when I saw the balloon-ish flag today at National Day celebrations. We were supposed to go into the Guiness Book of World Records! But it was so SMALL. And lumpy. Imperfection.
I took a photo though, but I'm lazy to upload because it's 1am.
But I guess it still was a creative effort by CJ :) But I think next year some other school will probably go and break it.
If they even heard of it.

We wanted to go back to BBSS but ST was sick, and Bryant went off to play pool. The rest didn’t come idk why.
So me and Debby just went West Mall and I watched her eat because I alr ate with the CJ gang (we must really think of a name!)
We walked around and I found a nice white-silver hp pouch. it’s a bit shinyish but it was only $3.90. I saw another one which was awesome and had that cute Cards n Such teddy at the back. But it was made of thin cloth and was $8.90. The other one had the softer material that I like. Only it’s shiny and I’m still wondering how they made it shine.
And since it’s cheap if it spoils/gets lost like my old pouch I’ll be fine.

Walked around some more and found the present Debby wanted to give to her dearest Eric! I don't care man debbs, i think he won't see this right? :D

Then we camped at food court because there was a TV! And they were re-showing the series "You Are The One" and when I saw it I was like omgomgomgg we must sit there!
It was one of my favourite dramas then because the romance was so cute. And I was younger like, sec 1 or 2 at that time. Hahahaha.
I had really believed something fairytale-like like that can happen in real life.
So innocent right?

Debby got kind of hooked as well so we bought food and sat there for an hour plus.

Anyway, it was fun to catch up! :)
We talked a lot and I don’t remember most of the converstaions because they were random.

So here I am now. Ahhh. This week had been... well, normal.
Absent on monday, came back to school on tuesday.
Been slacking seriously, I'm SO far behind on maths! I told yanting i'd try to finish differentiation by thursday and i haven't even started hahahahaa.

Facebook is so addictive!

Who was in the wrong?
Nobody knows.
I just want to wish this person happiness.
:)

what if tomorrow was your last day?

2009-08-04T21:35:00.002+08:00

I was listening to Jason Mraz's song "The Remedy" and the chorus was, "I won't worry my life away."
And then I thought about the decision I made recently. I know not a lot of people know about this and maybe it's not significant but to me it is.
Though I don't really want to talk about it.
Anyways, I realize how true the lyrics of JM's song are.
And thus began my pondering (as usual).

And I wished that people would follow their hearts once in a while.
Sure it may lead you to do the wrong things. Maybe it did for me. I make mistakes and wrong decisions, I cry, I regret.
I thought I'd never get over it, but I will.
But. Great things come from following your own heart. Someone (famous?) said this I can't remember haha.
Worrying about repeating a mistake is like... inevitable. But, foolish, because WE MAKE MISTAKES. We will ALWAYS make mistakes, and you grow stronger from them! You can try not to, but don't get too uptight about it.
"Borders don't keep other people out, they keep you fenced in. You can waste your life drawing lines, or spend your life crossing them." - DUNNOWHO

And,
If you can't forget a past that once hurt you, then don't.
Bury it in your heart (this is from FTLY YAYY).
In the future it will quietly help you, and you learn your lessons.
Learn them, but don't live in them. Because if you're too obsessed with it you forget what's before you. You don't dare to do something again because once bitten, twice shy.
People, important people who care, may pass you by because you're afaid of opening your heart to them.
Because sometimes we can't trust our hearts, and we betray them. (Heathcliff and Catherine ftw)

But it's okay isn't it? Bad things that happen.
LIke they say, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Eventually, when it's all done, you look back and it's the beautiful memories that you remember. And this is probably the great thing that you get from listening to your heart, if the ending didn't turn out good.

That's life for you.
Time pass, hearts change, people move on.
But we go on living don't we?
And while we do so, why not make the most of it? :)
If tomorrow was your last day on Earth, who would you spend it with?
Definitely not homework, not games, whatever. Those won't matter anymore.

Love, while you have the chance to. Some people want to but they can't even find others to love!
Finally don't worry and be happy :) as the saying goes.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't study. Shoo shoo. It's 62 more days to Promos! I'm just saying don't be too caught up!
HAHA. So much for my long thingy. Hope it entertained you. Idc if anyone disagrees, to each his own!
If people even read it heh.

The person I want most to read it, probably wouldn't think it's applicable to them at all ._.

ANYWAYS.
Today! Return to school!
The only thing I can remember the whole day ws the Subway outing! Hahaha.
With Cassandra, Jayne, Elizabeth, Sheryl, Wei Yan, Nicole, David and meeeee.
Woot.
AND WE SAW TWO EFFING HOT GUYS!
Tall. Medium-muscular. Slightly tanned. Caucasian. Young.
Ahhhhhhh. I was like O-O and was the first time in a long time I had that woah reaction.
Haha.

David was the only guy! Then again he's comfortable because he's asexual!
But he was cooperative and helped to look out for guys?
Plus when we see one he'd start telling me his professional criticism ahaha.

I don't know why I'm online again sigh.

2009-08-03T23:46:00.000+08:00

If only I could go to sleep now and wake up as 16-year-old again.
What wouldn't I give to relive the moments of 2008 in BBSS.. :)

Ahhhhhh I hate JC life!
I haven't finished GP and Maths because half the weekends I've been wandering around half-dead due to H1N1. The other half i spend slacking, of course.
I'm hoping that tomorrow i'll wake up with a fever and one more day MC!
Sigh.

...
The hugs you gave made me think that you never wanted to let me go :(

2009-08-02T13:58:00.000+08:00

Was he flirting with me?
I didn't think along that line until I told ST and she enlightened me.
.__.

Fever gone down! Yay!

2009-08-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

I'm SICK.
I took my temperature before school on friday, it was 37.4, not a fever yet.
But in school, it rose slightly to 37.5.
And after the maths test, it was at 37.9 degrees celcius. The class started panicking and some of them were paranoid and wanted to stay away. I was really annoyed. Is that how 'faceless' society is?
Ah well. I was grumpy anyway, due to the fever. And there were still many friends who cared. Lucky :)

So I signed the form and everything and went home.
Actually, I wanted to come to school cause I wanted to get back my EOM and take the maths test.
In the end, I left my EOM draft in class. What a genius.

Went to the nearby clinic, the doctor said I fulfilled the criteria of H1N1. He gave me four days of MC inclusive of Monday, and if the fever/cough got worse, I'd have to come back to test for H1N1.

And in the middle of the night yesterday, I took my temperature and it rose to 39 degrees celcius. Ahh.

It still is dropping and rising randomly.

Sigh.

Anyways, on monday, the class brought the cake :D It had three pikachus on top and I brought one home!
Whee~
On Wednesday, we celebrated Nicole's birthday! The guys ran ahead for the Mt Rosie route, and they brought out the cake to surprise Nicole when she came back.

2009-07-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

!fail

2009-07-25T23:22:00.002+08:00

17th Birthday was awesome :)
Despite having spent the last moments as a 16-year-old doing EOM and GP research.
Anyways, the first to wish me was HM, my bro's gf :)
Debby was the first at midnight, yay.
LY was the first to call, though it was awkward D:

So, I went to school and during break, Cassandra and gang approached me to explain that they bought a cake but Gerard Chio forgot to bring it.
Hahaha at that time I was like -flashback- to hours ago when Gerard was all flushed as he wished me happy birthday. Funny.
So they treated me to wanton noodles :D Thanks guys, and it's really alright about the cake, company matters more :)

Afterwards, I was so glad I didn't pon training!
The peeps actually prepared something at the last minute, I didn't think they would really make that effort.
I actually noticed a few things on the way, but the most obvious one was when after training, Gerard told everyone to 'sit down and chat', and we started playing some games in a circle. Hahaha. He's so cute, being obvious in being unobvious. Gettit? x)

Hahahahaha I found it so funny man. But I was really surprised when I saw that they bought doughnuts, to substitute a cake. Apparently Caleb and Monisha left halfway to buy them at United Square.
I was so touched! :D
They're all awesome people, and though they probably wont' see this, I still wanna say, THANKS SO MUCH! :)

After that I had to rush home and bathe and change to meet the secondary school peeps at vivo.
Jack couldn't be contacted after a billion times -_-" Eventually he told me to go to the roof by myself.
So I did, and I waited outside Marche because I was told to do so.
Nobody came so I was sad and I sat down to emo and play sudoku. But then Bryant rescued me a while later and I was happy. HAHAH I SOUND LIKE SOME PRIMARY SCHOO KID.
Anyways, he led me away saying we were supposed to go somewhere else. I honestly didn't suspect anything until then!
Afterwards he led me to a secludedish area and the gang came out with the cake! :)

ST passed me Debbs' prezzie which was awesome, and LY suddenly gave me a rose.
I was like o_o and it was red and in full bloom. Which was so PRETTY.
Ahhhh.
Anyways, Jack and ST went off to buy movie tickets. LY tried to get the cake back into the ruined box, Bryant kept mocking me about how he woke up super late the whole week, and I stoned.
We ate at Carls and something, can't rmbr hahah. Before long it was 8:58pm, so I took away my food and we dumped the fries into ST's fishandchips box.
and
WE LEFT THE CHOCOLATE CAKE THERE :((((( CUZ WE HAD NO TIME. AND THE BOX THREW AWAY ALR.
I REALLY HOPE THE STAFF/CLEANERS ATE IT. PLS DON'T THROW IT AWAY.

Then we watched Harry Potter. I fell asleep halfway .__.
mainly because:
1. I've watched it before
2. We were at the most front row
3. I was tired after training

Ahhh. Sad. After the movie we left at like, 11.44pm. I was saying how I was supposed to reach home by 10.
We all took 61 except Jack, and I reached BB at 12 plus plus.
LY offered to send me home and I rejected. Come to think of it IDK why.

And that ends my long post.
Sigh.
I have a new aim: to read more books & newspapers.
My current affairs results sucked like shit, and recently I've been having troubles trying to find words to describe stuff.
Ahhhhh.

Last thing. Me and Debby came up with a list of sexy guy names! Liz contributed too.
List of sexy guy names:

1.Eric
2. Ryan
3. Julian (in honour of the one I met in USA ;O)
4. Bryan (Debby made sure to add, without 't' D:)
5. Jake
6. William (in an old-school way)
7. Kenneth
8. Allan
9. Seth
10. Alex (in leiu of Emma Watson's brother)
11. Brandon
12. Christopher (FTW, I will probably name my son Chris)
13. Adrian
14. Finn
15. Jason (in honour of Jason Mraz)
16. Dominique (bad ass)
17. Tom (Tom Felton~)
18. Elliot
19. Ethan
20. Craig
21. Keane (-winkwinknudgenudgecoughcoughspitspit- ;))

2009-07-23T21:19:00.006+08:00

I saw the Ugly Singaporean for the first time yesterday D:

I don't want to sound mean, but it was true. I was late, and I had to surrender my Ez-link card. I forgot to take it back so when I boarded the bus, I had no money. I lacked a few more cents, and after a haughty, annoyed look from the driver-ugh wanted to slap him-I went to some of the people on board.

The first woman caught my eye and then looked away quickly. I KNOW she knows. It was so freaking obvious, her face screamed, "don't talk to me, i don't care." And I went to the guy on the left, and he was gazing out of the window. I also KNOW it wasn't that he happened to be zoning out, the look on his face was identical to the one on the woman. At this moment I felt this cold anger. I would've felt better if they at least told me they didn't have change, doesn't matter if they're lying. I mean, why try so hard to pretend man, you're being so obvious, at least if you wanna pretend do it better. At least CLOSE YOUR EYES and pretend to sleep! I'd forgive you for pulling it off properly.

Haha okay I sound damn pissed. But it's okay because the third guy took out his coin purse and asked me how much I needed. He didn't evne mind that he didn't have change for 2 bucks, and gave me 20 cents.
To me, he represents the human face in a rat-race society.

After this, I decide that I shall start donating 20 cents to those donation cans etc. Because sometimes it's the small efforts that show a lot.

Haha I had a similar experience when I was younger.

It reminds me of what our chi teacher said about a survey. If an old lady was to fall while crossing the road, only 3 out of 10 Singaporeans would go to help.

I believe him now, sadly.

I still don't like the statistics. But with those 3 people still existing, at least it won't be an emotionless society.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was good! Though I found it a bit plotless, the details were amazing. We watched it in digital, maybe that's why?
Nevertheless, it made me feel nostalgic. But I'm watching it again tomorrow!

So I shall not spoil it for mah friends here. Haha.
I just hate it when people love the movie so much they start talking about it without really caring that their listeners didn't want that spoiler :(
It's like, I understand how they want to amaze the listeners and surprise them. But it's just... spoiler.

Ahh. Today's LC was tricky and confusing.
But I liked some of the stories.

EOM! Bobdog ah. spelling and grammar mistakes also must edit until like that.
I know I made lots of mistakes in that draft, heck I was falling asleep while doing it.
I am going to start on my third EOM draft. Believe that I can finish it. Mwahaha. Like Cass said, 10% hard work, 90% positivity.

Estifishy is not a real word, by the way.

2009-07-17T19:13:00.003+08:00

Look closely, it's in the shape of a heart ;) Pic taken at the canteen table.

Omg my grades suck!
Hahaha I got 26 out of 100 for Maths. What is this!
But I found it strangely funny, that half the class got U. And hey, haha, I think 26 was pretty good x) Really! I'm not in the Mathscare programme (Maths Care: Math Scare HAHA GEDDIT?? xD)
Even though I did study a lot in the hols, we must consider that I didn't pay attention to any of the lectures from functions onwards.
So my 'revision' in the hols was considered 'vision'. GEDDIT? HAHA. That was Mr Lattif's idea! I miss him omg.
Back to maths. Whatever whatever, I know I need serious help. Mr K asked me, "Are you planning to get tution?"
And then I replied curtly: no.
HAHA at his face. I am so defiant.

I failed Econs too! But that was okay, I was so proud to have gotten an S because I studied last minute-ish!

Eee, recently I have this sickening feeling that I'm being used in many ways. Idk, I feel like they come to me when they need help, but when no more help is needed, everyone disperses. D:
And I feel that a lot of people hate me! Hahahaa.
Nah, it's just those normal self-esteem issues bleh. Good thing is, I recognize that I sometimes have issues with self-esteem, some people deny it. So I'm one step closer to climbing up maslow's hierarchy of human needs, which goes:

1. Physiological
2. Safety
3. Love/Belonging
4. Self-Esteem
5. Self-Actualization

And anyways I know of friends that will stick with me however horrible I am :)

I actually typed the above at 2:09am last night, where I finished my EOM draft 2 without being instructed to do so. That itself is an immense achievement! :o Michelle did her work without anyone prompting her to, the world must be coming to an end.
:D But I needed to do that because my first material was REJECTED D: -sads-

/random/ Ruo Nan's smses are hilarious! /endrandom/
And talking about her:

This was a dress we found in Vivo as we went out with Aash, Khad and Sarah.
It was torture to try it on, i swear! Blinding pink-orange colour + weird shape/holes everywhere.

Yesterday's PE, I broke my personal record and ran one round in 1min 35 seconds, FTW. But that's cause everyone was sprinting ._.
Can you IMAGINE running 12 rounds every morning at 6.30am!? *ahemmeixuanahem*
At 6.30 I'm just waking up you know!?
Kudos to MX.

I love it how I deliberately leave the house at 7 something, because nowadays there's always this 985 that comes five minutes after the previous one, and it's ALWAYS EMPTY! So I get a seat=I get to sleep.
I ish smart 8D

though I screwed up Maths horribly, I still like Mr L's maths tutorials. They're awesome, and he's an awesome teacher. He caught me red-handed smsing in class today, heck he was practically staring at my phone hahaha. And then he gave me that exasperated look and told me to do my work.
HE DID NOT CONFISCATE MY PHONE. ILOVEHIM.
And he's very very patient in explaining stuff! He'd stand there and explain to me step by step, never snaps or scolds :D He kindof reminds me of Mdm Yeo. Haha.

SO CUTE RIGHT? I mean look, I think the planes he drew were stupifyingly (no such word right?) cute.

BUT. Maths is lethal!
I have a cut on my leg which was thanks to the maths notes! o_o
I was all -____-" when it started bleeding.

Anyways, Liz was telling me and Mei Xuan that proposal story in the canteen today.
I shall name the story: The She and The He. 8D
So...

The She and The He 8D

Once upon a time, there was a pastor named Mr Pastor. And he had a high-school sweetheart he had been dating for two years or so, and he was planning to propose to her. So, for their anniversary, they went to Rome, and he arranged a dinner by the beach.

At the dinner, Mr Pastor told his girlfriend to close her eyes and turn to her right. She followed his instructions, and when she opened her eyes, a huge ship was cruising past, with enormous lighted letters saying: Will you marry me?

And then....

She said yes duh.

End of story.

OMG THAT'S SO ROMANTIC *O*

Liz also told another one, where a famous popstar called his girlfriend to come up on stage, to introduce her. She was very shy and took a long time, but when she finally did, in front of 22000 people, he went down on his knees and proposed. When Liz first saw that she was like, "huh what happened." HAHA. Anti-climax much?

^ This is a piece of chilli by the way, in the shape of a heart. LOVE IS EVERYWHERE.

Anyways, this is specially to JACK. HAHA. I shall made this whole section purple to celebrate his joining ST's list of gay guys :D No offence whatsoever!
Jack was so desperate to know why I suddenly blamed him for nothing.
It's because of him teling me to walk home from WM when we returned from ST's house because it took only 4/5 minutes for him the other time.

1. It took me 15 minutes, as I expected.
2. As I was walking, barely 1/4 reaching, THREE buses that can go directly to my house went past! Omg!
3. And the security guard lectured me on not bringing my resident pass boo him lah!! And the stupid guy behind me just kept quiet and waited for the gate to open -_-
4. I reached home late therefore, and had to eat two of the ham and mushroom (fyi i hate mushroom), instead of two of the cheese pizza.
5. Maybe it was because of that that after that I had a terrible stomachache! Haha!

HAHA. Jack, have fun with that info. Remember to tell Bennie!

ST IS SO EVIL!
She lied twice about the same thing and I believed her both times! Ohmgee!
Eeeyer.

I met a little gentleman a few days back! He was so freaking young and he already knows that he should let the female go in first. He held open the gate for me, SO CUTE.

Hahahaha. Anyways, about the ST's house episode, here is a pic:

Debby the awsm warrior.

Jack spent the whole day at ST's house oink-ing at us! JACK ACT CUTE LAH!

And thus, ends my super long post.

2009-07-12T21:39:00.009+08:00

OMG x100.
She called today and told me something I never would've believed a year ago.
And after hearing her out, I felt sad for her and finally decided that...
2009 is officially the saddest year ever! D:
It's like the year of separation for everyone. Boooooooo.

I hope she feels better soon.

Bennie told me yesterday what he thinks of guys. He said guys are simple, what we see is what we get.
I think he's right. If that's the case, what I see is what I get.
All the assholes I've seen, that's what I get. Nothing deep or complicated, just straightforward and frank. D:

I DON'T WANT SCHOOL TOMORROW.
There are, btw, 2 official confirmed cases of H1N1 in CJ.
I hope they get well soon.
But really, like that they should just shut the school.

And we're getting back our results tomorrow. I'm really not looking forward to it :(
Me and ST said that if we fail our promos we'll go NP!

Jack says (11:39 PM): LATER I GO SHI TING DAD TINK I HIS SON IN LAW
HAIX
SHI-TING says (11:39 PM): EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

HAHAHA HER REACTION WAS EPIC.
Lalala.
I love joint conversations with Jack, ST, Bryant. They are always crazy and move at like, 5 lines per second hahahaa. And everyone types in CAPS except Bryant, so we're like yelling at each other xD
And ST's always spamming, and somewhere Jack would ask her to shut up.
Which made me LOL. Bryant's always singing some lyrics and stuff.
YAY you guys rock.

Omg.
I was watching the Taiwanese drama Devil Beside You, and it said that it's cruel to keep a girl waiting in the 'gray area between friendship and love'! ._.
hahaha. When I saw the guy write the letter to her to ask her to stay and said, "Thank you for having loved me. I'm sorry I didn't love you the way you should be loved." it was so sad!
They didn't show the girl's face but she was crying and she started pacing around the house, and in the end still replied that wasn't the answer she wanted.
Etc.

Boo.

This is example of what ST's spam looks like:
"AND MADHURI WALKS IN
SHE WAITS FOR A WHILE
SHE FINDS A SEAT
PAUL COOKS FOR HER
AND SHE EATS
SERVED BY WAITRESS XUEYING
AND SHE LEAVES
EH NO
SHE GOES TO THE TOILET
AND SHE WASHES HER HANDS
7 STEPS CUZ GOT SWINE FLU
AND SHE LEAVES WITH THE GREEN THUMB ON TOP OF HER HEAD
OH LOOK KAIXIAN IS IN MY RESTAURANT
WAITING FOR A TABLE
OH BOO HER SHE IS IMPATIENT AND LEAVES"

HAHAHAH I was like LOL. She spammed about RC. I was away for like 2 minutes and she said so much! All in block letters, she sounded like she was screaming heh.

BOO SCHOOL.
IDK what to do so I'm updating again. lalalala.

2009-07-12T00:33:00.005+08:00

Mich, thou shalt not be sad.

C1: Conservation of Cats
C2: Conservation of Good Guys
Project Title: _______
Aim: To come up with strategies to conserve the remaining good guys on earth, as well as strategies to encourage jerks to become good guys.

I told ST to do that for her PW. She should, totally. I think her group would get an A.
Anyways, I've come up with a list! Which is not related to good and bad guys.
I've watched plenty enough dramas (methinks, almost 10, it's a lot for me~) to make a list! I'm putting it here for my own personal record too. IDC if bryant doesn't want to see this list or starts insulting it, I have my own preferences kthxbai x)

In order:

1. My Name is Kim Sam Soon - epic. no boring scenes or irritating second female leads, in fact i felt sorry for her. realistic, believable storyline. yayyy to the awesomest drama :)
2. My Girl - most hilarious drama ever, but too much moping from jun ki, who looks way better smiling, and a super duper annoying second female lead who only knows how to scoff. tsk.
3. Fated to Love You - it has a touching storyline! realistic characters that are imperfect and make tons of mistakes. love the theme of fate.
4. Couple or Trouble - hard-hearted female lead who isn't prone to crying! which is totally one-of-a-kind in korean dramas! yayyy. and the director is pwnsome at his techniques, the built-up effect through the eps, powerful impact. st will agree with me on this!
5. Get Karl! Oh Soo Jung
6. The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince
7. Boys over Flowers - you'd think i'd put this as top, since everyone's crazy over it. but nah. got boring halfway.
8. Delightful Girl Choon-Hyang
9. Goong

EHH No more hahahaha. KKK, I'll still list the ones I watched abit.

10. Why Why Love - still watching
11. Witch Yoo Hee - gave up halfway
12. Stairway to Heaven - admirably obsessive/excessive amount of crying. i didn't deliberately watch this, caught a glimpse on tv haha
13. Winter Sonata - refer to comment above. this probably has a better storyline though.
14. Full House - Rain is not cute. First few eps weren't that impressive.
15. Hello! Miss - I recall starting.
16. Iljimae - caught a bit on TV, heard it was nice. haha.

YAY. Now i shall list some good looking guys from the above dramas.

Lee Dong Wook (My Girl):

I was lazy to scout for more pictures where he's really posing. blehbleh. but he's hot. heh.

Kim Bum (Boys over Flowers):

ISN'T HE CUTE *O* So cute so cute. He's the only one whom I think is good looking among all the F4! Yes, I do not think the golden haired dude is handsome. haha.

Hyun Bin (My Name is Kim Sam Soon):

OMG at his dimples! Ahhhhh. He has such a bad boy look.

Mike He (Why Why Love):

Look of the devil. I guess because he acted as the devil-boy in both his dramas with Rainie Yang.

Hmm. I think the Old Town White Coffee is starting to take effect.

2009-07-09T22:44:00.010+08:00

Chinese oral was okay. I admit I did expect the topic to be unexpected (EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED HAHAHA. this is lame.) But what the examiner said was totally -blinkblink-
She asked, "What do you think of the government offering incentives to encourage couples to have more children?"
At first she said it until so chim, then i didn't understand at all, then she immediately rephrased for me. I didn't even have to ask!
Maybe I looked THAT confused that she took it upon herself to put it simply.

But even though I started my answer with "erm" -_-", I'm so glad I managed to talk almost immediately. That's because after I read the passage I already told myself over and over again that the conversation would be about happiness.
So I focused on a couple's happiness being brought about by children, and how it shouldn't be decided with money.
And blahblahblah.
Then she went and asked other methods to encourage childbirth.
And THEN she asked me when I grow up and marry, would I have children?
THAT took me aback completely. I was like O-O whut?
Thankfully I recovered and quickly made up some cliche stuff about having them after about two years of marrriage.

The examiner nodded and smiled a lot, so I ASSUMED that I didn't do too badly. She understood what I was trying to say, though she had to help me fill in the blankes once or twice D:
And also she had looked at me sympathetically. Idk if that's good or bad.
But I must say, my oral topic seemed easier than the one asking if Sproe is a lively country.
If i had that one I die.

Woot.
Don't kill me for blogging, I FINISHED MY EOM! :D THIS IS SUCH AN ACHIEVEMENT.
Idc about the generation of ideas already, I'll ask bobdog how to do after I get back my Draft 1 ;D
Bobdog is so cute.

Oh I think I only told Debby I met this guy Chris on Neopets (Yeah, Neopets, why not?) He's from an IP program in some private school, shall not mention it here, so that means he's smart. like wthhhh. Hahaha. But we mailed each other a few times and it was interesting! It was an intelligent exchange! 8D I feel so intelligent (right.)

For the first time, I met a guy who:
1. Is wordy (he takes KI)
2. Is smart and still spends half his time online
3. Thinks dota, WoW etc are lame (I know you think Neo is lame and all you do is feed pets and play games, but you haven't seen a quarter on what they have there)
4. Is sophisticated and tends to think in-depth, more emotional compared to rational
5. Writes music
6. Studious
7. Has his future all planned out (Engineering :o)
8. Grew up on DISNEY and LEGO instead of POKEMON! DISNEY FTW.
etc, i can't rmbr all.

Of course, these are all surface observations haha. And like, superficial cause idk him.
But still. It's nice to picture that guys like that exist! It's a nice dream okay! xD Hahaha.
I am comforted. Not all guys are jerks (i hope).

UPDATED @ 12.20AM. I CHANGED MY MIND TO THE LAST SENTENCE ABOVE.
GUYS ARE ASSHOLES :( St was saying that because of her friend.
He missed his ex, and admitted that HE DIDN'T LIKE HIS NEW GF AT ALL.
WHAT!
THAT IS SO SAD, AND SHE LIKES HIM A LOT...
WHAT AN ASSHOLE.
I HATE GUYS WHO CAN'T GET OVER THEIR PAST WHATEVER. LIKE, LEARN YOUR LESSONS, NOT LIVE IN THEM.
IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK OKAY.
AND GUYS WHO GIVE GIRLS FALSE HOPE. MAKING THEM THINK THAT THEY ARE LOVED AND WHATEVER STUFF.
STUPID JERKS.
IT MAKES ME SAD.
He was totally using her as a rebound :( that's the worst part :(

*end rant*

I MISS 4E2'08 *O*

Chocolate makes you happy! :))

Skooooool~

2009-07-07T20:29:00.002+08:00

CHINESE 'A' LEVELS ORAL TOMORROW! :D

This is so lol.
First day of school, not really a good start eh?
Heard the announcements. We were required to
1. separate our tables in class, no close contact
2. don't go for assembly because they banned mass gatherings
3. sit in order in lectures so they know who to quarantine

THIS IS SO LAME. LEMME REVISE A BIT.

1. our class is pathetically puny, we still touch each other a lot even if we separate our desks! o.o touchy touchy.
2. what about break time?? and CCA? ban them too? -_-" Like seriously, might as well close the schoool already.
3. If one person gets affected, the two people next to them would be quarantined right? but then the people beside those two people should be as well, then they should just quarantine everyone in CJ. tsk.

And now our class' seating at the FRONT for maths lec! Wth! I feel the ligaments in my neck ripping apart each time I strain to see the screen mans. And you can't sleep anymore! At least, without being obvious! What the.
On the positive end, it means I'll be forced to pay more attention T-T

We had a new chem teacher today. Cassandra said his mannerism is so leong yew-ish, but that's not a good thing!
I'm sorry but that's gonna make my chem lessons hard.
Plus first lesson, he already asked me to come up to write on the board. btw I got an EEEEEE for my chem :( at least i passed? I told him I got the question wrong and he was like, "come up anyway."
And then he ended up asking me to write out what he says, and kept on badgering me about what to do next, of course I was zoning out and noticing really lame stuff like, "WHY are his eyelashes so LONG and CURLY?" and then I thought of how recently i plucked out one of my eyelash.
I has A.D.D! Like really really really.
He got impatient midway and told me to stand there and started explaining.
He was totally addressing me alone and not the whole class anymore! Walaoeh. Then the class like no one paying attention, except maybe Carissa.
Hahahahaha.

Finally he let me go back.
Even after all that, I STILL DIDN'T GET IT x)
I'm the best ever man.

Lalaallalala.

Today Tiv was tellng me that all guys are eventually the same. And it made me sad but I couldn't help but agree with her! I thought he was different from the other guys. But after almost two years eventually, it's the same thing D: Booooooness.
Maybe it's not the guys, but me >=O

Anyways.
We also have a new co-form teacher that Cass said looked and behaved like a commando!
And that's not a good thing either!

I don't like PW! :( I'm not going to do EOM by today. MAKE ME.
Hmph.

2009-07-06T09:39:00.002+08:00

There will be a point in time when a girl realizes who's worth the effort, and who's not.
I should've realized it sooner.
But at least I woke up to my senses yesterday.
Painful, but necessary.
I hope he knows that I'm serious this time, and I'm not just going through PMS.

Fishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Haha whatever lah. I still have Debby, my lesbian partner -hugs- and the Hershey's Bliss dark chocolate melting in my mouth. YUM.

Should I study for chinese oral? Who studies for chinese oral?! I mean, i'm planning to, but who really MUGS?

Hmm, let's talk about two days ago instead.
Me and Ruo Nan went out with Bennie and Fievel >=O
Went to their churches and after that had dinner.
Lalalala.
Bennie was kind to us, he treated Ruo Nan to her lunch and bought me two drinks.
Fievel... is mean to meh. Hahaha. He always has been. He picks on me whenever there's a chance to! Meanie~
Lalalalalla.
I bet you all are like, "Who's Bennie and Fievel?"
Ladeeelahs.

2009-07-04T00:04:00.003+08:00

Good morning! x)
I just came back wheeee. Had a little movie double-date thing with debby, bryant and wei liang.
Wootwoot. I'm feeling warmy, maybe I'm sick? ;O no chinese oral next wed then? >=O

Transformers II was quite good. Though Transformers I left a greater impact =3
The action and effects do impress meh, heh. But it was too lengthy, honestly. And it was SICK and PERVERTIC :o i.e metal balls on a robot???
But the new characters were fun, Bumblebee remained as cute as ever.

Out of topic though, my brother is an awesome boyfriend.
He told me simply the other time, "I'd put my girlfriend as priority over other things."
Nice!
And he still has enough sanity to make him and his gf study hard.
I mean here's a nice guy here! Don't say they're extinct.

HAHA BRYANT JUST WENT ONLINE. I REACHED HOME FIRST. FTW.

Butbut debby was not fun :( She did not fulfill her dare that involved WL! Boo her!

I really feel warmy/feverish! And thus results in a less-than-interesting post. Don't mind mah ranting.

I wanna upload some MSN screenshots, but blogger is ughing. As always. Sigh.
Meanwhile I think I gotta rest. Tomorrow I'll be out nearly the whole day. Organ + visit to Jack/Bryant's church.

OHMGEE. DID I JUST SEE CHOCOLATE?
HERSHEY'S DARK CHOCOLATE & HERSHEY'S KISS SPECIAL DARK CHOCOLATE?
OHMGEEEEEEEEE. -prepares to gorge a whole lot of fats/suger/highness tomorrow-